Tag Archives: Twitter

healthcare, money, music, narcissists, politics, social media, Twitter, YouTube

“My husband has to work two full time jobs…”

It’s Thursday, which used to mean it was party night, when I was in college. But now every night is party night. 😉 I’m kidding, actually. Bill and I don’t party every night. We sit at our table and listen to selections from my huge music library, eat dinner, and drink wine and/or beer. We do a lot of talking, too. I’m grateful we have time for talking and listening to music as we quaff wine and beer. Maybe we should drink water instead of alcoholic beverages. It would be healthier and less expensive on many levels. But the fact is, we don’t do the “right” thing by avoiding booze.

Bill will be gone for about ten days starting Sunday. I will spend the time anticipating our trip to Armenia, and trying to teetotal. 😉 I usually do a pretty good job of teetotaling when Bill is gone. My main thing is that I have a tendency to get bored when he’s gone. Drinking beer helps pass the time. But I have downloaded some movies and a box set or two. I can use my empty evenings entertaining myself by catching up on movies and TV, and perhaps I’ll sing a couple of songs. I did a couple yesterday. I think they turned out quite well.

I finally learned “Jesse” yesterday afternoon. I’d been wanting to try it for a long time, but held off. I seem to have a knack for Roberta Flack tunes (although this was written by the great Janis Ian).
I’ve known this song for awhile, but finally decided to sing it when I noticed the rainy fall weather…

Someday maybe I’ll do something original. I’m getting noticeably better at playing guitar, although I have a long way to go before I’m fit for a public performance on YouTube. I have actually done a couple of songs with my mediocre playing, but not while I’m on camera. I think I need one of those mics that hang overhead, and that would require another VESA arm, which isn’t so easy to arrange when you have sloping ceilings. But anyway, maybe the day will come when I can arrange a live performance with singing and guitar… and maybe I will even write a song someday. That’s a not so secret goal of mine. I often say that something positive can come out of almost any situation, if you think long enough about it. COVID gave me the gift of guitar, as in, I finally got more serious about learning how to play. I know I would be a better guitarist if I had a real teacher, though. 😉

Anyway… about today’s title…

Today’s topic comes courtesy of Ex, who has been surprisingly civic minded lately in between her comments about Outlander. Before I get too deep into my commentary today, I will state that, on the surface, I actually agree with a lot of the stuff she posts. Somehow, she’s evolved from a conservative to a liberal… kind of like I have. I’m not sure how much of her political commentary is based on her true thoughts and feelings about things.

I’ve long suspected that Ex is a true narcissist, which means she tends to say whatever is going to get her the most fuel. And she tends to support whatever politics are going to benefit her personally. She seems to have become more liberal since she had her last child, a young man who will likely need help for the rest of his life. I can’t blame her for that, by the way. If you, or your family members need assistance, it makes sense to vote for people who might vote to provide that assistance. I’ve just noticed that her political views have dramatically changed in the years I’ve known of her. I can remember a time when Ex was a lot more conservative than she apparently is now.

Today, Ex seems to be all about voting blue, backing social justice warriors, and “wokeism”. In the past few days, she has let her liberal feelings be known to everyone on Twitter. She also has a history of repeatedly expressing a desire to move out of the United States. Most of the time, she’s posted that she wants to move to Scotland, although I don’t think she’s ever been there. But she also recently posted that she once had a desire to move to New Zealand. Alas, the New Zealand dream can never be realized. When the singer, P!nk, posted about people mistaking her Māori Poi flags for Israeli flags at her shows and getting threats, Ex chimed in with a comment about herself, revealing her former wish to move to the land of Kiwis and why that can never be…

This may be read by many Māori, so I’ll tell. I dreamed of living in NZ, only to learn autistic people are not welcome. My family can’t come, even to visit. I don’t think the Māori would approve of this discrimination. Seeking NZ & UK opinions only. As for war? I pray for PEACE.

Notice this comment has nothing to do with P!nk getting death threats over flags at her shows. It’s simply Ex’s complaints about perceived discrimination toward the people in her family who are on the autism spectrum. Once again, she’s making someone else’s post about herself.

Even though I rolled my eyes as I read it, I actually learned something new from Ex’s post. I didn’t know that New Zealand and some other countries won’t grant residency permits or citizenship to people with autism. I researched the issue, and learned that, at least in New Zealand, this rule is in place because of fears that people with autism would strain the healthcare system too much. I’m not sure Ex is correct about people with autism not being able to visit, as if you have a US passport, you can travel to countries that allow US citizens to visit. But it does appear that New Zealand and other countries will not grant permission for people to live there if there’s a chance they will strain the public health system. From the article (dated April 25, 2022):

“The current settings are not specifically discriminatory against disabled people, but instead focus on assessing the public health impact an individual will have,” said a government statement.

“The government values the contribution that disabled people bring to society and is always willing to take steps towards making New Zealand a non-disabling society. However, as this goal pertains to the current Acceptable Standard of Health (ASH) immigration settings, the government considers these settings appropriate.”

I can’t blame Ex for being attracted to New Zealand. It’s a beautiful country, based on what I’ve seen in photos and videos. I’d love to visit there myself someday. Unlike Ex, I will probably have the ability to do it. Besides having family members with autism who “can’t even visit”, Ex is perpetually strapped for cash. This isn’t a new phenomenon. It was also a problem when she and Bill were married, before autism was part of her life (our understanding is that older daughter didn’t have an official diagnosis until she was about 20 years old– long after she and Bill divorced).

Bill worked constantly to bring in money, taking jobs in factories, because that was what was available where they were living. Ex spent all their money on a wide variety of things– cars, landscaping, furniture, Disney plates, snacks from Swiss Colony, depression glass, and whatever else struck her fancy and temporarily bolstered her empty soul…

When I met Bill, he was broke, and his credit rating was in the toilet. Today, he has an excellent credit rating and little debt. He works at a job that pays well and is suitable for his talents, interests, and skills. Although he has dental insurance that will pay half, Bill can afford to pay out of pocket for the dental implant he’s about to get next month. He’s learned from past financial mistakes and repaired his credit. But Ex, apparently, is still broke. Last night, she posted this in response to someone’s comment about Mary Lou Retton crowdfunding her recent stay in the ICU.

And what are YOU doing to help make ends meet, Ex?

Here’s what I have to say about Ex’s comment. First of all, healthcare is NOT a basic human right in all places. It ought to be a human right, but the fact is, it’s not– especially in the US.

Unfortunately, in the United States, healthcare is a business, just like pretty much everything else is. Although changes are necessary, they will likely be very slow in coming. This is on account of our fucked up government, where people argue for weeks over who’s going to be Speaker of the House, rather than choosing someone expeditiously. I’d love to see politicians getting to work making policies that are good for the American PEOPLE, instead of making more money for the already rich. But that isn’t reality today.

In the United States, we have many non-profit healthcare organizations, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t businesses. It just means that their profits must be reinvested into the organization. I think Ex would like to see healthcare delivery services become a “not-for-profit” entity, which would mean that they are charitable organizations that don’t exist to make money, and the people working in them care only about the joy of healing and nurturing their fellow man.

But that concept also has its issues, as healthcare workers work very hard to get qualified to earn their credentials, have to pay high premiums for malpractice insurance, usually have lots of student loans, and demand to be paid well for what they do. To generate enough money and benefits to attract good people, healthcare systems have to make money. Otherwise, we’d have a whole lot more mediocre people going to medical school (which isn’t to say there aren’t some mediocre people in medical school now).

Many Americans are completely ignorant about how hospitals function, and they have fallacious ideas about how any changes to our system would affect them. Add in the fact that a large number of Americans never travel abroad and don’t experience healthcare outside of the United States. They think national healthcare will mean they won’t have any choices, and that our system will turn into a dystopian nightmare. So they keep voting for people who are focused on keeping things the way they are, which isn’t very sustainable for most people.

It’s kind of like how Americans resist moving away from the tipping model in restaurants. In other countries, restaurant workers are paid by the people who hired them. Yes, they get tips, but they don’t depend on them for their livelihood. Try to explain this to Americans, though, and they just don’t have a concept. I think it’s kind of the same for the prospect of changing healthcare. A lot of us would rather just stick with what we know, even though it sucks. So even when progress is made, it gets rolled back by the opposing parties, who want things to stay the way they are. 😉

Secondly, I am not surprised to read that #3 is working two full-time jobs (or perhaps just two jobs– she does embellish sometimes). He probably does work that much so they can “live”. But it’s not just because healthcare is so expensive that he does that. Based on Bill’s experiences being Ex’s #2 husband, I think there are several reasons why #3 has to work so hard.

  • Ex spends her money on all kinds of worthless crap. You only have to look at her Instagram to see this, but I also know from Bill’s and younger daughter’s stories.
  • She doesn’t save money or pay off debts in a timely manner, which means she winds up with emergencies she’s not prepared for, and gets socked with service charges and higher interest rates.
  • She has an extreme “live life in the present” mindset when it comes to money, and assumes things will somehow “work out” in the long run, which they never do. She easily justifies spending money she doesn’t have. Usually, that means her husband has to bust his ass at work, and it still won’t be enough. She will also berate him for not meeting her endless needs, so he’ll try to work harder to avoid that.
  • Ex doesn’t have a job, and though she gets lots of help with housework and taking care of her son from older daughter, she has legitimate expenses, like her recent ankle surgery and, perhaps, college tuition for their daughter.
  • Working two jobs gives #3 a refuge from Ex’s batshit craziness. I’m serious. It was true in Bill’s case. He lived for going on National Guard drill duty, because it meant getting the hell away from her for awhile.

What is especially telling about this situation is seeing how Bill was once in #3’s shoes, and now he’s doing quite well, financially speaking. When I met Bill, he lived on $600 a month, and whatever he could scrounge from per diem payments when he went on TDYs. It took us a few years to recover from the financial nightmare of his marriage to Ex. But now, he has plenty of money to meet our needs. If he’d stayed with Ex, he certainly wouldn’t have what he has now. She would have squandered the money in an attempt to impress other people or satisfy her bottomless pit of needs for shiny things. She also wouldn’t have let him succeed in the Army. She resented the Army for dictating where they would live and when Bill would be working. I don’t interfere with Bill’s work, so he’s been able to achieve and succeed, and he gets paid accordingly.

So… while I agree with Ex that our healthcare system is fucked, and needs to be reformed, I don’t believe her husband works so hard simply because of soaring healthcare costs. There are plenty of reasons why he’d even CHOOSE to work so much. Some of them have to do with escaping having to be around her. I just hope he doesn’t work himself into an early grave for her sake. I don’t like #3, but I dislike Ex even more. She’s not worth dying for.

Unfortunately, as Ex’s third husband, he’s already seen what she does when she gets divorced. #3 does have an advantage that his daughter is an adult and won’t be as easily alienated and manipulated as ex stepson and Bill’s daughters were. But his son with Ex will probably always have to live in the home, and if they split up, she won’t let him be involved in his life unless he lawyers up and forces her to cooperate. That takes a lot of money in the US, and it might not even work. Family courts are a crapshoot. He probably thinks it’s cheaper to keep her.

But anyway… those are just my thoughts as a longtime observer. I realize I could be wrong. I do wonder, though, now that #3 has been with Ex for so long, if he understands now why Bill so readily agreed when she demanded a divorce. Maybe he does when he has a spare twenty seconds at the urinal when he’s working, but my guess is that he doesn’t have much time for thinking about his situation. He’s in too deep. Poor sucker. /sarcasm

Well… I’ve got laundry to fold, carpets to vacuum, a dog to walk, and a guitar to practice. So I am going to end this long ass post. If you managed to read it and not think I’m an asshole, I thank you. See you tomorrow… if I survive today.

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language, LDS, mental health, narcissists, Twitter

Learning “50 cent words” in the strangest of places…

Here’s another one of my far too personal posts. You might want to skip it if such topics bore or upset you.

It’s a gloomy Thursday morning and I’ve got a touch of medicine head. I washed the sheets yesterday and was looking forward to a good night’s sleep. But when I laid down and tried to drift off, I started coughing again. Yesterday, I coughed enough that I lost my breakfast. I didn’t want it to happen again at bedtime, so I took some cough syrup (which I hate doing). That quieted my cough for about two or three hours.

I woke up again at 1:30 AM with another coughing fit. I got up again to deal with that spasm, then took more cough syrup, finishing off the bottle, which had only had about two doses in it. I went back to sleep again and woke up at 5:30 AM, which is about my normal wake up time. But again, more coughing and hacking, and now I have “medicine head”, which makes thinking more challenging. I thought about going back to sleep, but realized there’s a lot of writing I want to get done, even if no one reads my stuff.

So here I am… and I’m about to be petty again. Because, why not?

Ex’s “friend” on X asked this of her followers…

Last week, while we were on the road, one of Ex’s “friends” on Twitter asked everyone to describe themselves in one word, using the first letter of their names. Ex, whose first name begins with an “S”, came up with the word “sagacious”. I have to admit, that’s not a word I use very often myself, in spite of my degree in English. I was curious, though, so I asked my friends on Facebook how many of them would use that word in an average conversation, without even thinking about it.

Several people commented that they “could” use it, which is not what I asked. I mean, we can all Google the word and find out what it means, then use it in a sentence. I wanted to know who would choose to use it as a matter of course. Of the people who responded, no one could say they’d use that word on a regular basis.

Ex must have realized that most people would be looking up the word “sagacious”, as she helpfully provided a definition for everyone. See below:

Um… this really doesn’t describe her at all…

We were on the road, so I started cracking myself up thinking of more appropriate “S” words that were more accurately descriptive of Ex. I came up with a few good ones, and none had anything to do with her having “good judgment” or “wisdom”. When I look at Ex’s life, I see a long string of stormy relationships, lots of outright lies and stretching of the truth, people who have sustained damages due to her conduct, and plenty of heartbreak. She’s made a lot of terrible decisions that have harmed many good people, including her own children. But, just to keep this post from getting too dark, I’ll just point out that this is a woman who has had multiple bankruptcies, at least one foreclosure, three husbands, and five children. Her eldest child has no full siblings and has been asked to think of three different men as his “dad”. Her youngest child will likely never be able to live on his own.

But to hear her tell it, she’s the wisest, most prescient, most compassionate, and most decent person in the room. And she’s smart, too! I mean, dumb people wouldn’t use a word like “sagacious” to describe themselves, right?

The weird thing is, if I didn’t know about her, I might not realize just how completely toxic she is. On the surface, she doesn’t seem quite that extreme. She may be mildly annoying to some people, and some of her Twitter posts are a bit affected. Take, for example, this comment she left regarding the electoral college:

While I abhor the electoral college NOW, getting rid of it will not insure equal representation in the House of Representatives. White privilege is real & voter discrimination occurs against ALL people of color, poor people & legal immigrants. Educate yourself.

It’s a little “high falutin'” to be using a word like “abhor” when you could use a word that is less fancy, like “dislike” or even “hate”. And the fact that she uses the word “insure“, when she likely means “ensure“, tells me that she uses language to try to show off. Sometimes, it has quite the opposite effect.

I see her posting seemingly empathic comments and platitudes to strangers on Twitter, knowing that she has said and done some really vile and hateful things to people she actually knows. And just yesterday, she threw some shade… I’m assuming it was at my husband, Bill, although maybe she means her first husband or someone else she once dated or fucked.

I considered leaving her a scathing comment, but in the end, decided not to. She’s not going to change, and ripping her a new asshole online for libeling Bill would only provide me with a few minutes of satisfaction before she blocked me. Besides, it doesn’t matter what strangers on Twitter think, because the people who matter– most of them, anyway– already know the truth.

I’m glad she thinks her ex is a “total creeper”. He’s my “total creeper” now. 😉

Here’s some context, not that it matters to the vast majority of people. Ex was supposedly convinced that Bill had an addiction to porn. And the truth of the matter is, he did, and probably still does look at the adult version of porn on occasion, as do many millions of lonely, horny, or bored people. It’s actually not that easy to avoid it on the Internet, unless you use some kind of filter. He does not have an addiction, though, nor is he a “creeper” in the slightest sense of the word.

The reality of the situation is, when Ex (then a high school dropout with some college courses) “diagnosed” Bill with this addiction, he was working soulsucking second and third shift jobs in factories. He was a man in his 30s who had no intimacy whatsoever with his then wife. They were focused on raising three children with very little money. Their marriage was in a death spiral… and Ex also had a boyfriend, the man who is now her third husband, that she was talking to online. She would eventually move that man into the house her “creeper ex” was paying for, and fuck him in their marital bed. Then she’d marry #3 and have him replace Bill’s role as father to her then three children, in every way except financial.

She would eventually issue an ultimatum to Bill, demand that he seek “treatment” for his “addiction” from a layman bishop in the LDS church, or she’d divorce him. Keep in mind that while LDS bishops do get some training in how to deal with people and their problems, they aren’t necessarily licensed mental health professionals. And the LDS church makes a huge deal out of things having to do with anything sexual that doesn’t involve making babies. So anyone looking at legal porn, having sex for fun (especially if it’s not heterosexual sex), masturbating, or even fantasizing about something that isn’t vanilla is going to be labeled somehow and their actions will be considered “problematic”, even if whatever they’re doing is not an actual problem.

Word also tends to get around fast in the LDS church. That’s what happened in Bill’s case. Pretty soon, many people in the church were turning their backs on him without ever hearing his side of the story. I’m glad the church people showed him who they actually were, and what they really weren’t. It made it easier for him to leave their cult.

Ex issued her treatment from the bishop “edict” in my late father-in-law’s home over Easter 2000, while their children were out eating ice cream with FIL and Bill’s stepmother. The whole time this was going on, by the way, Ex was enjoying erotic fiction written by people like Anne Rice, playing Dungeons & Dragons, and losing herself in movies. Their last home together eventually went into foreclosure, which took years to live down in terms of Bill’s credit rating.

They did have financial issues, but it wasn’t because of a pornography addiction. It was because of Ex’s uncontrolled spending as she tried to look “successful” to people in the church, church tithing, her medical bills, and Bill’s reluctance to stop her from spending all of the money he’d earned. She bought things like Disney plates and depression glass, or expensive snack platters from Swiss Colony. Bill is a loving and sensitive guy, who was still very much interested in sex and having a marital relationship when they were together. She’d checked out, and was having an affair.

I’m not saying that it’s necessarily a good thing that porn was in the picture, but she makes it sound like Bill was a weak man who had single-handedly destroyed their relationship with it. That’s not at all what happened. And more importantly, as his wife for almost 21 years, I can assure Ex that this so called “addiction” she claims Bill had when they were married is not happening today. I’ve never seen any sign of Bill as a pervert or a “creeper”. To me, he’s a wonderful, caring, generous husband. I’m grateful to be with him.

There are people who do have legitimate addictions to pornography. It CAN and DOES ruin lives. But Bill doesn’t have a problem with addiction of any kind. As a matter of fact, when Bill travels, I can guarantee that I’ll hear from him in the evening. He’ll want to chat with me, even if I’d rather be watching a movie. The rest of the time he’s either at work, or physically with me. For proof of that, have a look at my travel blog. Please— it really needs some hits! 😉

Ex has told everyone in the family that Bill has this problem. Most of the observant types have realized it’s Ex’s typical made up bullshit. One person hasn’t written it off as bullshit, though. My husband’s stepmother still thinks Bill is an abusive pervert. She has even asked me about it. I told her that he’s not abusive to me, but I don’t think she believes me. Stepmother-in-law has her own issues. She doesn’t care for me, and I don’t think she cares much for Bill. She wanted access to Bill’s daughters because she wants to be a grandmother, and it’s unlikely her daughter will provide any children from her marriage. So, even though Ex is toxic to her, and she’s complained to us many times about Ex’s behavior and hurtful things she’s said, she continues to give her deference… even though the girls are now well into adulthood.

So, when I see Ex using Bill as another prop for her bullshit facade, I just kind of shake my head. I know the truth, as do all of the other people who matter. Why she feels the need to chat up strangers on social media instead of paying attention to the actual people in her life, I’ll never know. She has so many people offline who need her and would love it if she’d just be a normal person. But that’s impossible, and it will never happen. She’ll never change.

But… at least I’ve gained something from watching Ex’s shenanigans online. I honestly didn’t know the word “sagacious”. Now, I’ll never forget what it means, as I realize that Ex is a living, breathing antonym of the “S” word she uses to describe herself. I’m glad she was at least “sagacious” enough to let Bill go, so he could be with someone who loves him for exactly who he is.

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narcissists, Twitter

The old American double standard: say one thing, but do something different…

Today’s travel blog has some exciting news within it. Last night, I finally booked our long awaited visit to Yerevan, Armenia. I’m pretty psyched about it, although I expect there will be some sadness, too. Yerevan has changed a lot since I lived there in the 90s. Some of the changes are legitimately good ones, but some aren’t so much. But some familiar things can never change, and I do still have all my memories– good and bad. I look forward to making new memories soon.

Today’s main blog post is about hypocrisy and double standards… you know, that old “say one thing, do something different” attitude some people have. My old hero, George Carlin, did a brilliant routine about it.

The old American double standard…

You might have noticed the featured photo today. It’s a screenshot of a post I found on X… thanks to Ex. Ex is the queen of double standards and hypocrisy. But she is not the originator of that post about Joel Osteen, the folksy televangelist whose Lakewood Church bought the former Compaq Center in Houston, Texas and made it into a giant “sanctuary” of sorts that seats over 16,000 souls. I haven’t watched Joel Osteen’s show recently, as I don’t live in the United States and never watch network television. I’m sure Joel broadcasts in Germany, but I don’t go looking for his program here.

But I do remember seeing Osteen’s show ten years ago or so, when I was still in my homeland. Osteen was at the top of his game then, giving Christian-ish motivational speeches every Sunday in his distinctive Texas drawl, advising people to find a good “Bible based” church. It was hard to miss his broadcasts on Sunday mornings, as they aired “religiously” (heh heh heh), seemingly on more than one channel.

I never paid a lot of attention to Mr. Osteen, but for awhile, it seemed like he was everywhere. He had books out, and they were best sellers. He lived in a huge mansion with his wife, Victoria, a woman that some might describe as a “trophy wife”. I won’t do that myself, as I don’t know the nature of their relationship, and I don’t believe that just because a woman is beautiful, that means she’s necessarily a “trophy wife”. Victoria Osteen is a very pretty woman. She reminds me of Brooke Shields. But that doesn’t necessarily make her a trophy wife.

On the other hand, I do remember the headlines about Victoria Osteen’s alleged behavior on a 2005 flight to Vail, Colorado. Osteen was apparently upset about a stain on the first class seat she was supposed to occupy. It was definitely NOT Christlike conduct, if the stories about it are in any way true. And while 2005 was a long time ago, that incident happened during the Osteens’ rise to fame. In the end, the flight attendant who sued Victoria Osteen lost her case. I suspect that there might have been some embellishment on the part of the flight attendant, although the altercation over the stain did happen and no one disputed it.

The Osteens are human, and I guess I can understand why Joel Osteen might feel compelled to block someone on X. Is it something Jesus would do? Maybe not. Joel Osteen is just a man who preaches, though. He’s not akin to Jesus Christ. Christ wouldn’t live in a house like this one. He’d use the money for the house to feed, educate, and house people. But people still listen to Joel Osteen and his wife, and a lot of them are happy to donate to the power couple. One woman on X wrote this:

My aunt is one of his most devoted cultists- I mean, uh, congregation. She makes awful money (3rd grade teacher, poor rural school) but like clockwork a good 1/2 – 2/3 of it sails into his pocket yearly. Definitely done her a world of good – she’s living in a studio now!

I’m sure Joel Osteen would say that is God’s will… for that woman to live in a studio, instead of in a humongous mansion. Osteen says it’s “God’s will” for people to live in prosperity instead of poverty. But it doesn’t sound like this woman has been rewarded for her generosity. What should she do to get on God’s good side, so she can live like Joel does? Will it take a miracle?

Then I noticed Ex’s response, which really made me puzzle. She wrote this:

That is so very sad.

Indeed it is. I felt the same way when I found out how much money Bill sent to Ex for years… and how much money she spent on stupid, worthless crap when they were married, completely exploiting a good man and sucking him dry. Some of the worst crap she spent money on was the LDS religion… which demanded thousands of dollars in tithing that did nothing but make them poorer and entrench Bill’s daughters in a cult. Granted, I was later grateful to the LDS church for giving younger daughter an escape. But I still think it does a lot of damage to people who don’t fit the mold. There’s a lot of evidence to support that opinion, too. All you need to do right now is to read up on Ruby Franke.

In any case, for all of Bill’s efforts, Ex alienated his daughters from him and abused him on all levels. She told vicious lies about him, and about me, and harassed his younger daughter for reconnecting with her REAL father (who is NOT her third husband). But there she is, all solemn and sad for a woman who tweets about how her aunt has been taken in by a manipulative religious “leader”. Hell, at least Osteen says and writes things that make people feel positive. Ex doesn’t even do that. She constantly criticizes the people who are closest to her, even as she claims to love them.

She’s not wrong to comment that it’s sad, though. It is always sad when people are taken in by snake oil salesmen, and they are everywhere, unfortunately. She communicates things that sound good, but the reality is, she doesn’t practice what she preaches. She has more heart for celebrities than her own family. See what she has to say about her favorite actor, who went on vacation and had his location leaked to the press…

I am glad you posted this, but we really should take it a step further. Sam’s life is utterly on display, privacy lost, but worse, he is CONSTANTLY objectified. He is apparently a stellar human being, but, objectification sullies accomplishments. He deserves more respect.

Wow… really? How many times have I seen Ex tweeting celebrities asking for money or connections? I have the proof in the form of screenshots. And my husband has literal scars that show the level of “respect” Ex had for him… /sarcasm.

I know it’s pointless to write about this stuff… but I really can only shake my head when I see Ex acting like a hypocrite. She says and writes things that sound good, but the reality is, she’s just another snake oil salesperson… and another hypocrite. And, to quote her, all I can say is…

That is so very sad.

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LDS, mental health, narcissists, psychology, YouTube

“Wah! No one ever gives me any presents!”

A few days ago, I watched a very insightful YouTube video by licensed therapist Kati Morton. The video was titled “8 Signs Your Mom is a Narcissist”. I decided to watch Kati’s video, although I don’t think my mom is a narcissist. I really like her content. She’s warm and empathetic, and she offers insightful and factual information in an appealing way.

The red flags were at full mast on this…

I don’t think my mom is a narcissist. She probably has some narcissistic tendencies, as most of us do. She might even have more than the average person does. But when it comes down to it, my mom does have basic empathy, and in spite of certain accusations made by others in my family, I think my mom has basic respect for her daughters. Especially now that we’re all adults. Or, at least I think she has basic respect for me. She changed a lot (for the better, in my opinion), when my father died.

I probably would have liked Kati Morton’s video regardless. Her content is kind of in my wheelhouse, because I studied social work, and might have even become a therapist myself. But then again, maybe I wouldn’t. Sometimes, I wonder if I have basic insight about myself. It’s probably a side effect of growing up the way I did… in a family situation that looked good, but hid some pretty serious issues like depression, alcoholism, and post traumatic stress disorder. Most of that stuff didn’t get talked about until we were all pretty much grown and seeing shrinks. 😉

As regular readers of my blog know, I strongly suspect Bill’s ex wife is a bonafide narcissist. I don’t mean she has “narcissistic tendencies”. I mean I think she’s got full blown NPD. Of course, I don’t know for sure, and I probably never will. The only way I could be sure is if a licensed professional diagnosed her and it was somehow made public. But I do have my suspicions, just as I have my suspicions about Donald Trump.

I used to suspect narcissism in Ex when Bill told me about his marriage to her, especially as I helped him deal with the aftermath of it. I became more certain when I heard about some of the things that happened after she and Bill divorced. Then, after watching Kati’s interesting video about narcissistic mothers, as well as reading other insightful materials, the signs became even clearer.

I highly recommend watching Kati Morton’s video, because she does a great job explaining the signs. She even mentions former child actress turned author Jennette McCurdy and her book, I’m Glad My Mom Died, which I’ve also read and reviewed. Jennette McCurdy’s mom was a notorious narcissist. But, if you don’t want to take the time to watch Kati’s video, here’s a quick and dirty list…

  1. You are an extension of her. She lives vicariously through you, or wants you to participate in activities that she chooses, even if you’re not interested in them. She sees you as “property”– and has an “I brought you in this world, I can take you out” attitude.
  2. She can dish out tons of criticism but can’t take any of it herself. She’s never satisfied with your achievements and criticizes you heavily when you don’t perform. But if you criticize her in any way whatsoever, there will be HELL to pay.
  3. She shares private information about you without your permission. She tells her friends about your first period, for instance. Or she talks to other people about things that are equally embarrassing.
  4. She holds basic parental duties over your head. The old “Do you know how many diapers I had to change when you were a baby?” or “Have you any clue how annoying your crying was when you were a toddler?” (actually, I have heard this a lot from my family)
  5. She doesn’t respect boundaries. She calls you when you’re on your honeymoon… 😉
  6. Will constantly tell you you’re remembering things wrong. Classic gaslighting behavior. She’ll say things like “That never happened.” or “You’re crazy. That’s not what I said or did.”
  7. She is always competing with you. (another one I experienced, but from my dad) A narcissistic mom might try to steal your friends or your significant others. She might dress too young. Maybe she’ll resent your successes.
  8. It will NEVER be her fault! Anytime there is a problem, it’s someone else’s fault. She won’t take any responsibility for her part in any bad situation. And if something goes well, it will be because of her input.

I’ve been watching Ex for over twenty years. For most of that time, what I learned about her, I learned against my will. I heard about her from Bill or someone else in his family. Most of what I heard was very upsetting, so I made a point of not looking her up on the Internet. I didn’t want her to disturb my peace, nor did I want to feel compelled to call CPS. But then, I found out that she was telling her kids about my blog and spinning it into bullshit. Since they were adults at that point, I figured if she was going to read up on me, I might as well return the favor and give her some of the attention she obviously craves.

Now, I’m (mostly) not as disturbed or horrified by Ex’s antics. Bill’s daughters (biological, at least– we still wonder if #3 legally adopted them) are adults, and are responsible for themselves. Younger daughter has made the leap into full fledged adulthood. Older daughter, sadly, hasn’t. But she’s got to figure things out for herself. Now, I can (mostly) just laugh at Ex.

And laugh is exactly what I did last night, when I saw her latest tweet. Someone in her “Outlander posse” shared pictures of a very personal and thoughtful gift she had received by another fan. The woman who shared photos of the present was gushing over how beautiful it was. The woman’s friend (who evidently isn’t a friend of Ex’s) had sent her a creation based on their mutual love of the Outlander series. I can’t tell for sure, but it looks like this person actually created a hardbound book based on tales told by James Fraser, a character on the show. I don’t watch Outlander myself, but I did do a quick search and it looks like this was a one off creation; not something she bought on Amazon.

If the person did create the book, she did a beautiful job. I would be thrilled to receive such a lovely gift. I can understand why the recipient is so impressed with it. Now that I’m reading other comments, I can see that it was something specially created. People are effusive with their praises.

Apparently, Ex is impressed (and envious), too. She left the following comment:

I’m sure she adores it. Did you craft the book from scratch my dear? It’s the most beautiful gift I’ve ever seen. I have to confess, all the gifts I receive are from myself; since my father died, I can count on my fingers the gifts ANYONE else has given me. Is it an odd thing?

Notice how she states the obvious. “I’m sure she adores it.” (clearly). She asks if it was created from scratch, adding “my dear”, which is almost always a condescending sentiment rather than endearing. Then… she writes it’s the “most beautiful gift [she’s] ever seen”. I’ve seen her write that before, so it’s obviously not a sincere comment.

Finally… she makes the rest of the comment about herself.

Ex’s father– her adoptive father that she met for the first time when she was 7 years old– died in 1996. According to Bill, who actually knew him, he wasn’t a terrible person, but he also wasn’t much of a father. He spent a lot of his time at sea, because he was in the Merchant Marines. When he died, he did leave some money for Ex’s three eldest children– about $15,000 total. Ex proceeded to use the money to put a down payment on the house that she later allowed to go into foreclosure.

I know that Bill’s father and stepmother gave her gifts, some of which were pretty expensive. I also know that she later sold them on eBay. I don’t know what kinds of gifts Bill gave her when they were married, although I doubt he had much money to buy her anything super nice. And even if he did, she probably wouldn’t have liked or appreciated it. From what I’ve heard and seen in the aftermath of their marriage, I know that Bill was more concerned about paying the light bill and mortgage, than gifting Ex things like fan books from her favorite TV shows.

Bill “gifted” her with two daughters and played “daddy” to her eldest kid with her first husband. When they divorced, instead of insisting that her first ex husband pay child support for his son, Bill paid support for him, too. But Ex doesn’t see that as a kindness. At the time, she felt entitled to it. He left their marriage no longer able to father children, because he had a vasectomy for their mutual benefit. She repaid him by having two more kids with #3, and now uses them to promote her benevolent mother facade to strangers on Twitter. Meanwhile, we’ve heard about how she begrudged younger daughter necessary medical and dental interventions, even forcing her to endure a complicated dental procedure unsedated when she was seven years old.

I would have been overjoyed to have had a child with Bill. I would have seen that as the greatest gift ever. Isn’t it interesting that Ex doesn’t appreciate her children, or see them as gifts– even if they were simply from God? I bring up God because Ex brought the family into Mormonism, where there’s the idea that preborn children choose their families as spirits waiting for earthly bodies. But for all I know, she might not even believe in God anymore. Or maybe she only believes in God when it’s convenient.

Ex recently tweeted something else that gave me pause. In parts passing, I’ve written about how Ex loves to use books, music, movies, and television shows to “demonstrate” how she expects her husbands and children to behave. She doesn’t live in reality. She bases her reality on fiction. Bill has told me many times that she expected him to romance her, as Bryan Adams suggested in the song “To Really Love A Woman”, or suggested that he wasn’t “strong enough” to be her man, as Sheryl Crow sang in her song, “Strong Enough”. There are countless other examples of this phenomenon.

Anyway, she recently tweeted about the show, Outlander, of which she is a super fan. Someone announced that the show could be “rewatched” starting in early April, allowing fans to see the whole thing before the new season starts. Ex posted:

Thanks for the heads up!!! I’m a woman on a mission to get my hubby to watch it straight through!!

Poor #3… I doubt she wants him to watch because she simply enjoys the show. She probably wants him to watch so she can “instruct” him on the “right” way to behave. She wants to be married to James Fraser, not #3. She wants actors, not real people. Hell, even her children have mostly taken acting classes… probably because she encouraged it or insisted that they take the classes. She doesn’t want them to be themselves. She wants them to be someone from one of her shows or movies.

If you look at the list above, you can see that it’s basically Ex engaging in the very first sign. She constantly posts about wanting her youngest daughter to go to an acting conservatory in Scotland… when younger daughter has said that her sister would actually prefer to go to school close to home, so she can hang out with her friends. Meanwhile, when younger daughter was college bound, Ex wanted her to stay close to home and commute to her classes. Younger daughter, thankfully, found a way to do what she wanted to do.

Anyway… back to Kati Morton. I find her videos very helpful and interesting, not just because of Ex, but because of my own fucked up family dynamics. The below video is one that kind of resonates with me, personally.

I love my mom… but she was kind of neglectful.

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condescending twatbags, divorce, politicians, politics, stupid people, Twitter, YouTube

Time for you to go back to Civics class, Marge…

A couple of days ago, I was watching YouTube videos and happened to catch one by Farron Balanced. It was about Georgia Republican Marjorie Taylor Greene’s big plan to “fix” problems in the United States. She announced on President’s Day that she thinks it’s time for a divorce. Apparently, Marge thinks that the two major political parties in the United States are too polarized to function and have “irreconcilable differences”. So, to fix this, she thinks the United States should “break up”, much like she and her ex husband, Perry Greene, have.

She really is dumber than hammered dirt, isn’t she?

I don’t know if Marge and Perry are officially divorced yet. I do know that Mr. Greene filed for divorce in September 2022, according to People.com, citing an “irretrievably broken” marriage. I’m sure it’s not been easy for Perry Greene, as his wife is a very controversial figure who frequently says and does things that put her in the spotlight– and often for negative reasons.

This latest stunt also has Marge in the news. I don’t know if her divorce is what put this idea in her mind. Perhaps she’s been blissful as a free agent, no longer tied down to a partner with whom she’s no longer compatible. But she’s making headlines now, as she proposes that the United States should also “divorce”. Let the blue states do their thing, and the red states will do theirs… Right.

Did Marjorie ever go to Civics class? I took that class in 8th grade, back in the mid 1980s. I remember Mrs. Rockwell taught us about how the U.S. government works, the importance of voting, checks and balances of the three arms of the government, and how the idea of “united we stand, divided we fall” was championed by our Founding Fathers.

Now, I’m not one to be overly impressed by the Founding Fathers. As George Carlin famously pointed out, our country was founded by “slave owners who wanted to be free.” However, MTG is a Republican, and the Republican Party just loves to talk about the Founding Fathers, the Constitution, and other shit like that (*snark*). So it seems really odd to me that MTG, who practically oozes redneck Republicanism, would dare suggest that our country should go against the ideas of the Founding Fathers. Basically, it sounds like she wants to throw in the towel and say, “Fuck it.”

I’m glad Marge isn’t the only one in charge. I think she has a hell of a lot of nerve to make a suggestion like this. Because not everyone in the United States identifies as “left” or “right”. Quite a lot of us are moderates who embrace ideas from both sides of the spectrum… although I have to admit that I no longer have love for today’s Republican Party, precisely because of Trump loving dipshits like MTG and her ilk.

I’m no fan of Mitt Romney’s, but he’s publicly stated that Marjorie’s idea is “insanity”. Romney told the Salt Lake Tribune on Tuesday, “I think Abraham Lincoln dealt with that kind of insanity …”We’re not going to divide the country. It’s united we stand and divided we fall.”

On this, I absolutely agree with Mitt. Because unfortunately, there are a lot of less educated folks out there who listen to what MTG says and think she’s onto something good. Many of those folks would love to fight the Civil War again, not realizing that they would not be the winners if the South had won that particular war.

Former Rep. Liz Cheney, R-Wyo. also agrees with Mitt Romney. Cheney criticized Greene on Monday, highlighting the unconstitutionality of Greene’s proposal.

“Our country is governed by the Constitution,” Cheney tweeted. “You swore an oath to support and defend the Constitution. Secession is unconstitutional. No member of Congress should advocate secession, Marjorie.”

Unfortunately, a lot of people haven’t gotten the message that most Republicans are only interested in helping rich White people stay rich. But they are voted in by much poorer, less educated, and more racist people who think the Republicans care about their issues. They haven’t thought about what it would mean if states like– oh, Mississippi or Alabama– had to make things work on their own. A lot of red states are “takers”, as Joy Reid points out. They’re poor, and they need federal money to keep going.

Worth watching… I think Marjorie would like a Putin style government, too.

I don’t know if MTG is aware of this, but the powers that be in Russia have long been predicting that the United States would break up someday. According to this 2008 Wall Street Journal article, some thought it would happen in 2010. In the 80s, the Republicans talked about how evil communism was, and how we’re “better dead than red”. And yet, here’s MTG playing right into Putin’s hands. Because if the United States “divorced”, it would just make the country weaker and easier to control.

A screenshot from Reddit about how a Russian professor thought the United States would break up… I bet he never figured a Republican like MTG would be on board with this.

I really think a lot of people who might agree with MTG are less interested in the practical implications of what a national divorce would mean, and more interested in preventing cultural progress. A lot of Republicans are uncomfortable with the idea of historically disenfranchised people gaining power. They can’t fathom the idea that old ideas about sexuality, family structure, race relations, and the division of wealth can or should be challenged and/or changed.

Now is not the time for the United States to be broken up, with citizens feeling like they come from a “broken home”. Just because Marge couldn’t save her marriage, that doesn’t mean she needs to spread the idea of a new Civil War, even if she claims the split should be “bloodless”. She wants Biden impeached and removed from office? I think she’s a traitorous disgrace who has shown that she doesn’t cooperate and can’t work with others. Instead of splitting up the country, why don’t we get rid of these rogue political idiots who don’t care about serving the people of the United States?

Fortunately, MTG’s idea is going to go nowhere. According to ABC News, after the Civil War, the Supreme Court ruled that seceding from the Union would be unconstitutional. We all know how much Republicans like to scream about the Constitution, right?

I’m so tired of Marge and her ilk, especially as she keeps bringing up how “terrible” it is for children to learn about woke ideas. You know what I think is more terrible than abortion, controversial books and kids learning about non traditional families, and gender identities? Kids being shot in schools… or kids bringing guns to schools and shooting their teachers. I think kids losing their parents to gun violence is worse than a kid growing up with two moms or two dads. I think valuing money and property over human life– already born human life, that is– is much worse than learning that someone can be transgender, or that Christianity isn’t the only valid belief system.

It’s high time for more moderate thinking in the United States… and for people who learned something in 8th grade Civics class to be in charge. Come on… are you with me? Are you as tired of this shit as I am? And I’m watching it from Germany. I can’t even imagine how stressful it is to be in the US right now. Jeez!

And I kind of feel a little like a child of divorce, watching two sides fight over who gets custody. It’s totally shitty. Maybe it’s time Congress got an enema and we flushed away political turds like MTG.

In other news…

I just bought new sound equipment so that I can hopefully make more music videos soon. I’m having a real hell of a time since I revamped my office. Sadly, I think that soon, it will be time to make a video for Arran. :'(

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