Ex, narcissists, Twitter

The last full day of our brief trip…

It’s been a bit rainy today, although it’s not been as rainy as it was yesterday. We took a walk down the hill to another hotel in town, which has a restaurant with decent food. We also spent more time at the hotel’s fabulous pool area. I will miss it as we make our way home to Wiesbaden tomorrow. On the other hand, I think we’re both ready to go home and see our dogs. We’re both worried about Arran.

I have enjoyed being at the Bareiss Hotel, but I would have enjoyed it more if not for a canine cancer diagnosis in our sweet Arran. He really is a unique soul, and we dearly love him. Unfortunately, this is just a shitty part of loving animals. If you do it right, you go through this.

I probably shouldn’t write this next bit, but I’m going to do it anyway… because it’s about Ex, and y’all know how I feel about her. I’ll keep it brief.

Ex has been tweeting about General Flynn. In her most recent tweet, she made a comment about broken military servicemembers…

I find Ex’s comments about the military very rich indeed.

Ex says, “…the same US military that says, ‘No man left behind.’ but fills the streets with homeless, mentally broken, physically challenged men and women of honor. Broken things CAN be repaired!” (I took the liberty of subtly correcting Ex’s punctuation.)

When I met Bill, he was very damaged due to the years he spent with Ex. He was barely able to survive on the amount of money he was withholding from his paycheck to send to her, as she shacked up with #3. He falsely believed that he was the sole reason for their divorce, when he was actually a victim of domestic violence. It was many years later when he finally told me about some of the worst things that happened to him during their marriage… things that would have landed her in prison if she were a man, and the abuse was reported. And yet, there she is on Twitter, spouting off bullshit about abused, broken, hurting people.

HA!

In Bill’s case, the military was a SAVIOR. It saved him from being stuck with her. Being at WAR was better than being with her. Safer, too.

I know… there’s nothing I can do about the lies she spews. But it makes me feel better to write about it. It helps me keep things from getting too twisted. Bill has literal scars from his years with her. He has emotional and mental scars, too. She doesn’t see it, though. She thinks he hurt her… and that was justification for ostracizing him from his daughters, trying to sabotage his family relations, and leaving him almost destitute, with shitty credit and a foreclosure and bankruptcy on his credit report.

The cognitive dissonance is astounding. She leaves her ex husbands and children damaged and broken and sends them out on their own with nothing. They’re still better off without her in their lives, even as they are left with significant trauma. She has a lot of nerve commenting on the military. But she is right about one thing. Broken things CAN be repaired. I am proud to be part of Bill’s recovery.

Sorry… just sayin’.

Well… I’ll be home tomorrow, so those of you who like my blog will soon see some new entries. I especially look forward to pumping some life into the travel blog. So, I hope you enjoy your Sunday. See you tomorrow, when I can type on my desktop computer again.

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Ex, narcissists, psychology, Twitter

Tweeted words of wisdom and wackiness…

Good morning, folks. It’s still dark outside on this fall morning, as I prepare to pack a bag for five nights in the Schwarzwald. I am doing a load of laundry before we go, which gives me time to write a blog post before we load up the dogs and take them to the Hundepension. I will worry about Arran the whole time we’re gone, even though we’ve taken trips in the past when we’ve had dogs with cancer. The first time we lived in Germany, our late dog Flea had prostate cancer that was supposed to kill him within weeks. He lasted four months after he was diagnosed. I have a feeling Arran is going to be more like Flea than Zane, who lasted just one week after we found out about his cancer. Arran is slower than usual, and less interested in food, but he still wants to take walks and give and receive love. He still eats, too. It just takes him longer, and he’s a bit more finicky.

Last night, we were hanging out after dinner, and I decided to see what Ex was up to. Lately, I’ve had less to write about her, because there have been other things on my mind. But I do watch her from afar, because as we learned last spring, she’s got no shame about hitting up people in Bill’s family for money and other resources. I try not to spend much time surveilling her, though, because frankly, she doesn’t merit the attention… even though she posts things that leave me utterly dumbfounded.

I feel quite certain that Ex is a full blown narcissist, and narcissists are famously blind to themselves and their own hypocrisy. They also like to build a believable facade for the unwary. And sure enough, that’s what Ex is doing now.

Last night, I saw that she had responded to someone on Twitter who posted that “Donald Trump is finished.” I would love that to be true, although I don’t think it is. Trump will be finished when he’s dead.

Another person posted about how we’re all letting Trump “live rent free in our heads.” That’s when Ex decided to jump in with this comment:

I agree with this… bullies don’t remember the people they bullied. So if you forget the bully, he has no power. However, preventing him from bullying others, is a responsibility we all bear.

I wonder if she realizes just how incredibly tone deaf her comment is. You see, Ex is a bully herself. I can personally attest to the awful things she’s done to my husband, his family, and her children to get what she wants. She can express pretty words that sound right, but to those of us who have been on the receiving end of her antics, it just sounds like pure bullshit.

This is a woman who forces her children to divorce their fathers and change their surnames when she remarries. This is a woman who destroyed my husband’s relationships with his daughters, because she wanted to punish him more than she wanted her daughters to have access to both parents. This is a woman who made Bill’s daughters drop out of high school and get student loans, so she could skim the excess money for her own purposes. Then it was on them to pay back the loans. She is a bully, and a massive hypocrite. But at least she understands some basic psychology that pertains to bullies.

Someone else advised the original poster not to get his hopes up about Trump being finished. The person indicated that Trump always lands on his feet. And ex’s response was this:

Nope. Got it wrong there. He’s been coated in Teflon in the past, but as with all Teflon skillets, he’s worn through non-stick ability scratching too hard at the surface looking for purchase. There is no need to discuss him anymore. He is irrelevant. Abbott & DeSantos? Criminals!

Hmmm… she would know about Teflon. And she will also become irrelevant, as her last child becomes an adult.

Against my better judgment, I kept reading. Hey… giving her that narcissistic supply that she so desperately needs. She doesn’t seem to realize that she has some things in common with Trump. And that’s when her Twitter feed became absolutely rotten.

First, there were birthday greetings to Mark Hamill, who was apparently distraught at becoming older…

I honestly don’t know, since I don’t follow Mark Hamill at all. I don’t care about Star Wars, though I know Ex is a big fan. Anyway, this is what Ex wrote:

I meant to say “your tears with mine.” I think I was too deep emotionally in the moment to get it right…

“Deep emotionally in the moment”? Because Mark Hamill had a birthday? Or because the voices in her head are all warped again? Who knows…

Then there was a tweet about Queen Elizabeth’s death. The tweet was made on September 8, but Ex replied yesterday with this…

I’m a yank now but a citizen of the Scotland through my bloodlines. My whole life, Her Majesty has been there, elegant, beautiful, humble, endearing… I will miss her so much. She is truly a singularity in our world, can never be replaced and must NEVER be forgotten.

When she was married to Bill, she was obsessed with Diana, Princess of Wales. But now the Queen was her rock? But it gets even more rotten as Ex falls down the rabbit hole of pretending to be someone and something she’s not. Someone else tweeted about Outlander, another show Ex likes. She responds thusly:

I dream of it because they’re my ancestors. I dream that perhaps my ancestors would welcome me to the fold and be my family where their progeny has failed me. I’m left longing for Scotland… to walk where they trod, to live where they lived. It may sound silly, but it’s my dream.

I have felt so very alone my whole life. The bastard child of a couple that adopted me out to a dysfunctional family. I hurt in so many ways. I found my birth family and was rejected by them. I’ve always felt that I am not of any value to anyone. Hence, the therapist in my life.

Someone gives her a little supply by writing that she’s a “child of God” and an amazing lady.

Funny… because when I met Bill, he was completely broke, due to her outrageous spending habits. She demanded a divorce over Easter 2000, while they– including the kids– were staying at Bill’s father’s house. At the time, she was trying to claim his family as her own, pushing Bill out into the cold in an effort to get him to conform to her demands. She didn’t know that he had allies, and a year later, we would be officially a couple. Bill and I have been to Scotland four times, because I have Scottish ancestry, too 😉 . Ex continues, responding to the woman who comforted her with supply:

Im sorry! I didn’t know you then but it is certainly my pleasure to meet you now. They give me what I’ve never had: a real, albeit fictional, multi-generational family. I’m descended of Frasers du Lovat so it’s especially wonderful for me to dream of what it would be like.

How does Ex even know who her ancestors are? It sounds like a fabrication to me. And that becomes even clearer later in her Twitter confessional, as she responds to Liz Cheney’s announcement that she will do all she can to prevent Kari Lake from winning in Arizona.

I am so pleased. I know that matters little to you, but hear me out. My father was a staunch Republican. He, too, would be proud of the way you have handled yourself if he were alive today. I am not Republican anymore, but I admire you greatly for doing the right thing.

Which father would that be? Her bio father? Her adoptive father whom she didn’t meet until she was seven years old? Her stepfather, who sexually abused her? My guess is that she means her adoptive father, who was absent and neglectful, but at least he wasn’t a pervert. Continuing about Liz Cheney:

She’s the daughter and progeny of one of the most Republican people to live in my lifetime. Dick Cheney didn’t raise a dummy. He raised a woman of conscience.

I’m beginning to think that a lot of Republicans are, in fact, dummies. At least the ones who are embracing the MAGA mindset are.

There’s more fawning over Sam Heughan…

How can I attend “A Night in Edinburg” virtually… I will google it, but if you know you know and could also share!! Thanks!!

If only I wasn’t an ocean away, I’d be there.

I did the same! I want an autographed in person copy!!! Sam, please come to New England? I’m in NH but could come to Boston!! (she’s referring to a book that was put out by Heughan– so much for the therapy dog for her son)

This is awesome, Sam. I wish you had a SO sharing these amazing adventures. I’m not a contender, except as a true friend if ever allowed to be, Coach. Know this, there’s not a human being alive who could resist sharing your committed, amazing life w’ you. Have your pick!

And more fawning over Mark Hamill:

You probably have a ‘no politics supporting’ rule to keep you from being inundated. This, Master, qualifies as time to leave that island and be the influencer of all influencers… if only for a moment and if only for our anti-FG battalion? We all are doing our part.

And finally, more fawning over her father:

Oh sweetheart!! You are a fortunate girl!!! Advice from one who lost her daddy far too young: CELEBRATE EVERY DAY!! Just make up an excuse, bake a cake or pie & TADA you’ve made today a celebration of today!! Spend time, share joy & pain, laughter & tears. Cherish every MOMENT!

She wasn’t all that close to him. She fabricated a fantasy, as he was at sea all the time. When he was home, he basically ignored her. This is all a bunch of bullshit put out for strangers on Twitter. Why she feels compelled to do this, I don’t know. And while the circumstances of her birth are unfortunate– being a “bastard child” and all– it seems to me that the better thing to do is focus on things one can control. She can’t help being the product of an affair who was brought up by “dysfunctional parents” (didn’t most of us have dysfunctional childhoods?) What she can help is how she behaves now. She can control the present, but she won’t. It’s easier to engage in delusions of grandeur and appropriate other people’s characteristics than work with what she’s already got within herself.

It seems to me that it would be better to be genuine, and focus on real people offline, than trying to charm strangers on Twitter. But that’s just my take, and God knows she would never take advice from me. According to her, I am a “homewrecking whore” who stole her ex husband (which, for those of you who don’t know me, is NOT true at all. I didn’t even meet Bill in person until almost a year after their divorce was final– meanwhile, she was shacking up with #3 in the house Bill was paying mortgage on.)

I know that posting this stuff may seem “mean”. I don’t really care, at this point. I’ve watched this woman work for 20 years. She is destructive and delusional. I’m the mean one, though, because I don’t give her a pass for doing the mean and terrible things she does to real life people, rather than celebrities who help shape her fantasy world.

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communication, complaints, rants, social media, technology

Why do I tolerate being disciplined by bots?

It’s a beautiful, cool, rainy morning here in Breckenheim. Seriously… it’s GREAT to have some rain at last. It’s been many weeks since we’ve had the kind of soaking rain that is going on right now. The topsoil in our backyard is parched; the grass is dead; and there’s an actual fissure in the ground, thanks to the drought we’ve had. I love to see the rain in September, because it means relief from hot temperatures. There’s a change in mood, too. People seem to want to get down to business again, probably because September is when a lot of young people go back to school.

I hope the rain lasts all day. It will match my mood, which is a bit cranky this morning. Why? Because I’m still “restricted” on Facebook for an infraction that happened in August, and the punishment was only supposed to last a few days. I typed a forbidden three word comment regarding Donald Trump on a friend’s post, and within a couple of minutes, the bots descended upon me with a nastygram and my “punishment”. It was SUPPOSED to be 48 hours restriction from posting in groups. I got my ability to post in groups sooner than I expected, but I still had the red badge of shame, as unbeknownst to me, Facebook bots had decided to give me thirty days of lower ranked posts in groups. I should be done with that “punishment” on September 16th.

I won’t be surprised, though, if I still have the stupid red badge of shame a month from now for a comment I posted yesterday. A friend from my hometown posted about how it annoys him that people post whatever they want on Facebook and he never comments, but when he posts something controversial, people get pissed off. I got curious, and soon found a video he posted

@mississippichris39 #fyp #foryourpage #mississippi #funny ♬ original sound – chrisalexander3595

My honest response to the above Tik Tok video was, “I think I’d probably kick him in the nuts.” It was a joke, of course. I’ve long since outgrown indulging my urges to kick people in their private parts. The point is, I don’t think I’d appreciate someone telling me to “Shut up” as they insisted on “loving” me, especially since I don’t know what “love” entails to someone so bold. Does it mean loving from afar, or a more physical kind of love that involves the risk of pregnancy (for someone younger, anyway)? A previous commenter posted a vomiting emoji. I wonder if I would have still gotten in trouble if I had posted something like this…

People post all kinds of offensive crap all the time, but Facebook never does anything about it. Twice, I’ve complained about someone ripping off my profile and pretending to be me. They don’t do anything about it. I post a figure of speech and the bots descend on me like flies on shit! I get accused of inciting violence, hate speech, etc. They ask me if I want to agree with their decision. I have found out from experience that disagreeing doesn’t do anything, as no live person will ever look at the context of the offending post. So I just accept the “punishment”, which has nothing to do with the infraction and simply makes Facebook more annoying and harder to use. I run a couple of groups, neither of which have any issues. Yet Facebook bans me from participating in groups because I posted a forbidden comment on a friend’s post. That doesn’t make sense. And it’s not like I’d learn anything, either, because you never know what will set off the bots. This crap makes me glad I disabled the official Facebook page for this blog.

Common sense would tell me that the right thing to do is to close my account and go back to living the way I did prior to August 2008, when a former friend convinced me to join Facebook. But now, everything is so tied up in social media that I feel like leaving the platform would make things complicated on several levels. So maybe the better thing to do is just spend less time on Facebook, and more time on other platforms. I just recently discovered Twitter and arranged my settings so I don’t get comments from toxic people… or really, anyone, anymore. However, I think Twitter is also pretty toxic, and just reading some of the hatred that gets spewed there is hard on my mental health. I know that sounds “snowflakey”, but life is tough enough without some of the rude, snarky, mean spirited shit people post.

Though I know some people might say the comments that got me in trouble were also mean, neither were personal insults toward anyone who would actually read and be hurt or insulted by them. They were joking comments made to friends. Meanwhile, people can be as sarcastic, nasty, and vulgar as they want to be in any newspaper’s comment section, and nothing will get done.

Is this really what the powers that be at Facebook want? To drive people away with draconian bots and their nonsensical policing of people’s innocuous comments, constantly taken out of context? I feel stupid allowing bots to discipline me, and I’m tired of being Mark Zuckerberg’s ass monkey. So maybe it’s time I spent more time reading books and watching videos than engaging on Facebook. I’d like to travel more, too… for as long as we’re able to, before the next pandemic or having to move somewhere else.

Anyway… it’s a minor complaint. Bill will be home tomorrow. He’ll take Arran to the vet to see if he needs hormonal help or anything else. Arran is a bit perkier this week, but I still want to see if he can use some meds. We’ll have a wine fest, which I can’t post about in my wine group until Saturday, thanks to this asinine “sanction” placed on me by a bot. I’m glad I don’t use Facebook for business purposes. It’s utterly useless for that.

Time to wrap up this post and get on with the day… which will consist of vacuuming, practicing guitar, maybe making a new video, and walking the dogs, if the rain lets up.

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Ex, narcissists, politicians, politics, Twitter

Talking a good game again…

Another Labor Day has come and gone… and we didn’t do much of anything. Historically, Bill and I would go on a short trip for the last official summer weekend. But in 2019, we lost our Zane over Labor Day weekend and were in mourning. In 2020 and 2021, we had the damned pandemic to deal with. In 2022, we still have the pandemic, and were too late to book accommodations for our dogs so we could go see the dentist in Stuttgart. So our next trip is scheduled for the end of the month. Hopefully nothing will screw up our plans, but just in case, I purchased “cancel for any reason” travel insurance, because the hotel I booked in the Black Forest is kind of a special, and expensive, place. It will soften the blow of visiting the dentist, who is very good at his job, but sometimes winds me up.

Bill had to go out of town this morning, and he will be gone until Friday. On Friday, he will take our Arran to the vet, because I suspect he may need some help with his hormones. Or, at least I hope that’s what’s causing him to act kind of weird lately. Recently, Arran seems to be kind of lethargic… sleeping a lot, slow to eat his food in the mornings, and just kind of “off”. I don’t think he’s really sick, but he’s about 13 or 14 years old, which makes him an old guy, and it may be time to see if he has hypothyroidism or something like that. He’s gained significant weight over the past year or so, and I don’t think they’re just pandemic pounds. I once had a dog with hypothyroidism, and a little daily medication fixed her right up. I also correctly diagnosed it in a former friend’s dog. We’ll see what happens. The boys are both getting dentals this month, too, which will be a good thing, especially for Noyzi. It will be his first time, and he really needs it.

Yesterday, Bill was talking to me about how some Republicans think we should rewrite the Constitution, no doubt to suit their agendas. Just hearing about that made me feel depressed. I’ve about had it with the constant upset the country has been going through over the past few years. I’m especially tired of so-called “Christians” claiming that no one who believes in Jesus would vote for Democrats. From what I learned about Jesus as a churchgoer, Jesus would have been a total blue voter.

What is especially distressing, though, is watching the comments from poseurs, like my husband’s former spouse. I have mentioned before that, on the surface, we are in political agreement. However, I know something about her and how she actually behaves when she’s offline. So it’s kind of jarring when she tweets things like this:

To be clear… what she says regarding MAGA politics makes plenty of sense to me. I actually agree with her 100 percent. BUT… I also know that her behavior toward my husband and his family has been anything but Christlike. I know that for all of her “pretty words”, she is actually a very cruel and hateful person. She talks a good game, but when it comes down to it, what she says and types is complete bullshit. And, I guess, knowing this about her, and seeing what other people put out there, makes me wonder about other people. How many people are full of shit? I’d like to think her level of delusion is rare. But is it?

This is a woman who denied my perfectly decent husband access to his own children, simply because he stopped letting her control his life. She denied her children access to things they needed for success in life. She raised her kids to think they owe her, which I suspect, has led to my husband’s daughter being overly concerned about “burdening” people. In fairness, younger daughter might come by this tendency honestly, since Bill is kind of the same way. However, I know that both Bill and his daughters were “parentified”, in that when they were growing up, they were expected to be much more mature and responsible than their years, and be a “parent” instead of a developing child.

According to Psychology Today, there are fourteen signs that a person was “parentified” when they were growing up. Here they are:

Signs that you were parentified as a child

  1. Grew up feeling like you had to be responsible
  2. Trouble with play or “letting loose”
  3. Like to feel in control
  4. Pulled into arguments or issues between caregivers
  5. Felt like you were given responsibilities that were not appropriate for someone your age
  6. Often compliments for being “so good” and “so responsible”
  7. May feel that being self-reliant is better than trying to trust others
  8. Don’t really remember “being a kid”
  9. Parents had trouble caring for themselves or others and placed the responsibility on you
  10. Often find yourself becoming a caregiver for others
  11. Being a caretaker feels good, even when you are sacrificing parts of yourself
  12. Heightened sense of empathy and an ability to more closely connect with others
  13. Feel like you need to be the peacemaker
  14. Feel like your efforts aren’t appreciated

I haven’t spent much time with younger daughter myself, but I have spent the past twenty years with Bill. And to me, this list is pretty much spot on about how he behaves. He’s told me that younger daughter has expressed concern that she’s “burdening” Bill. While a little of that is understandable, given that they’re having to rebuild their relationship, he’s still her father. He wants to help her, and he knows a lot about what she’s experienced, because he’s experienced it, too.

I was there to see my husband try to reason with his ex wife. I saw him cry many times, because he was so distraught over the loss of his children. I was there when he told me about the scars a doctor noticed on a private part of his body, put there by Ex. Bill was much too embarrassed to explain how he got the scars. He didn’t even tell me about them until we’d been married for many years. I watched as he recovered from years of abuse at her hands. Now we’re hearing about what happened after the divorce, and a lot of it is very disturbing.

I was there when Bill was a Mormon, having adopted the faith at Ex’s behest, then watching it being used to alienate him from his children. Now, it seems that Ex has mostly abandoned Mormonism, except for when she wants or needs something. Being LDS ended up blowing up in Ex’s face on many different levels. First, she wasn’t able to get her sealing canceled so she could be sealed to #3. And then, her daughter got help from church members when she decided to escape her mother’s clutches.

And yet, there Ex is on Twitter, acting like she’s the voice of reason, telling off some stranger and claiming to be a “devout Christian”, preaching about Christ’s love. She’s not wrong in what she types, but those comments don’t match up to her actions as a human being in real life. Offline, she’s a monster, who doesn’t hesitate to lie, manipulate, and exert control over anyone unfortunate enough to be in her sphere. And then she accuses them of doing things that she does.

Last night, Bill told me that his life didn’t start to get “good” until he was in his mid 30s. That was around the time we met online. I remember, he was 35 years old then, and his email address even had the number 35 in it. He’s 58 now. I have to admit, my life improved a lot when I turned 30, except it sometimes feels like I’ve kind of wasted a lot of time. But then I realize that maybe my time hasn’t actually been wasted… I just haven’t spent it working in a cubicle. I never thought I had the “right” to such a life, though.

Sometimes, I feel like my life’s mission changed when I met my husband, who is truly a remarkable man. I thought I would embark in a rewarding career, but it just went a completely different way. It’s been my pleasure to help Bill get things back on track and enjoy his life. But it’s tragic that there are people he has to watch out for, simply because he’s a kind, empathic person, and he’s quick to take people at their words, rather than observe the way they behave.

Well… I’m going to miss having Bill around the next three nights, but at least it will give my liver a chance to rest. Maybe I can catch up on my beauty sleep. As it is, I’ve been up since about 4:30am. I’m probably going to need a nap today.

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Biden, Ex, money

Interesting reactions to Joe Biden’s controversial decision to forgive student loan debt…

I’m sure you’ve heard about it by now. Yesterday, President Joe Biden announced that many borrowers with federal student loans will be forgiven $10,000 of their debt. Those who borrowed and also got Pell Grants qualify for an additional $10,000 of forgiveness. This applies to anyone earning less than $125,000 per year, or married couples jointly filing tax returns earning less than $250,000. Loans after June 30, 2022 aren’t eligible.

Although I won’t be personally affected by this plan, I think it’s a good idea. Bill and I paid off my student loans in 2018, nine years early. But we were able to do that because we’ve been extraordinarily fortunate. Living in Germany has been very good for us in most ways, but especially financially. We don’t have children or elderly relatives to support, and we don’t own a home. Back in 2007, when Bill went to Iraq and got a temporary bump in pay, I made paying off my loans a priority, so we wouldn’t be burdened with them as we aged.

I was also very lucky in that in 2002, just after I graduated from the University of South Carolina with dual master’s degrees, I was able to take advantage of a very low interest rate that probably isn’t available anymore (although I haven’t checked). I consolidated my loans and locked in that rate (3.75), and that really helped me a lot. I remember thinking the $57,000 in Stafford Loans I owed would never get paid off– but I was able to do it, little by little. Now I realize that I actually got a bargain. Some people borrow that much for just one degree. I managed to get three.

Even though we managed to pay off my loans in full, I have a lot of empathy for today’s borrowers. The cost of higher education has skyrocketed since I was last in school. At the same time, salaries have stayed pretty stagnant. Then we had the pandemic, which caused a great deal of chaos for people in the workforce. Bill and I were responsible, and we did make paying the student loans off a focal point. But that’s only because we could. Not everyone has that choice. And when you’re working your ass off for employers who don’t necessarily value you with decent pay, it can feel like you’re on a hamster wheel. I know how it is. I was there myself when I was single.

It seems like Mr. Biden can’t do anything to please some people. I’ve noticed many folks whining about this new plan to help borrowers. So many folks think it’s unfair to forgive debt, especially if they’ve paid off their loans. I’ve seen a lot of people who are shocked that people earning up to $125,000 will qualify. Do those people understand that some areas of the country have a much lower standard of living than others do? Someone making $125,000 may seem “wealthy” in rural Kentucky or Arkansas, but they would be far from wealthy in California, New York, or parts of Virginia. I’m also willing to bet that a lot of Republicans will gladly take advantage of this plan, even as they complain about Biden.

I know it’s normal for people to complain when their preferred politician isn’t in office. The level of contempt some people have for Joe Biden is pretty sickening. I don’t understand it. I mean, I get that he’s not the most exciting we’ve ever had. He inherited quite a mess, though. I don’t remember any other incoming president facing the level of chaos Mr. Biden did in January 2021. Moreover, Donald Trump has literally done things that are CRIMINAL. People still think he should be in charge, in spite of his obvious propensity to lie, steal, cheat, and molest. I don’t understand why more Americans don’t want a law abiding, decent, responsible person in the White House. But try to ask some people about this, and they will accuse you of having “Trump Derangement Syndrome” and being a “hater”. I wouldn’t “hate” Trump if he didn’t act like he’s above the law and make the United States a laughing stock around the world.

Count me among those who think Mr. Biden has done remarkably well, under the unusual circumstances he’s faced. I don’t know if he’ll make it to a second term, but I will vote for him again if anyone like Trump or De Santis is running for president in 2024. I do think it would be good if he bowed out of a second term, mainly because he is so elderly and being POTUS has got to take a severe toll on him. I would like to see a younger person run for the Democrats. But I would take him ANY DAY over Trump, simply because he’s humane and decent, and he doesn’t steal classified documents, constantly golf, mug for the camera, or post on social media, nor does he brag about grabbing women by the pussy. Anything good Trump did for the United States was done at someone else’s expense. He is a classic narcissist, and they are never good for anyone but themselves.

Speaking of narcissists, I did take a peek at Twitter and noticed that Ex was crowing about this news. She claims her loans are paid off, but this will “help” her children. I couldn’t help but shake my head, because I know the reality behind her comments. Below is how she responded to one person who was lamenting about student loans:

That’s horrible! It’s like loan sharks just like another poster said. My student loans are no longer owed but my husband and several of my children have student loan debt and this will help our family tremendously! The only thing I’m worried about is my daughter in college now!

Ex forced Bill’s daughters to drop out of high school, get GEDs, enroll in college, and take out student loans, of which she helped herself to the excess after tuition was paid. The loans were taken out in her daughters’ names, which means that they alone were responsible for paying them off, even though it was Ex who was using the money. Younger daughter explained all of this to us, and told us that she had managed to pay off the debt, even though she doesn’t have a degree to show for it.

I also know that Ex has declared bankruptcy several times, including one time when she and Bill were married. Besides the bankruptcy, there was also a foreclosure. But there’s ol’ Ex, acting like she’s fiscally responsible. I don’t understand why she feels the need to lie to strangers on Twitter, but I guess it’s just a facet of her “extra” personality. When I met Bill, his credit rating was abysmal, and he was carrying credit cards with loan shark level interest rates. He now has an excellent credit rating, but that didn’t come without significant hard work and several long years of being very diligent about our finances. The end result is that we’ve both managed to recover from the financial disasters she wrought.

I probably shouldn’t pay any attention to her… but she is genuinely fascinating. If she’s out there in the wild, you know there are a lot of others like her. So many people feel like they have to fake it until they make it, and present a false self to everyone.

I’m glad that Joe Biden is doing something that will help middle class student loan borrowers. I know that some people don’t think this measure is enough, while some are resentful that they paid off their loans and won’t be benefiting. I, for one, think this is a good decision. What I think would be even better is if the cost of attending college went down significantly, as alternatives to college are also offered to those who would fare better learning a trade.

One thing I think Germany does right is offering higher education to those who are most likely to succeed, while also offering people the chance to learn skills or trades. Not everyone is cut out for academics, and not everyone needs a college degree to succeed. I am very grateful I had the chance to go to college and graduate school, and obviously, I could handle the work. But I often feel badly about the fact that I went to school and use my education, mostly, for this blog and entertaining Bill. It seems like a waste… even though I know that when I started graduate school, I had no plans to marry anyone. I was sure I was going to be an old maid. It’s funny how life changes just when you least expect it.

For those who wonder how I managed to pay off my loans… I’m going to offer my best tips. It may not work for you, but this is what worked for me. It’s pretty simple, actually. I started by paying an extra $20 per month on my minimum payment. At first, that extra money didn’t make a big dent, but it did help pay off interest faster, which led to the principal finally going down on a steady basis instead of staying the same. Always remember that if you’re paying the minimum, you won’t get anywhere with any expediency. That minimum will just pay for interest, and you want to work on the principal, which will also lower the amount of interest you get charged.

As time went on, I continued to add to the extra amount I paid each month. Maybe six months after I started paying an extra $20, I bumped the extra amount to $50. Then I went to $100 extra, and watched with delight as the principal diminished. I started getting letters from my lender, letting me know that I was paid ahead and didn’t need to keep paying extra. I ignored those letters and paid more and more, until I had finally whittled down my principal to about $2000. At that point, we had the money to just pay off the last of the loan, so that’s what I did. Boy, was that a good feeling! Again… we accomplished this nine years ahead of time! I’ve successfully used the same technique on car loans and paid them off ahead of time, saving money on interest and ridding myself of stress and headaches caused by debt.

It may initially seem very difficult to part with that extra $10 or $20 when it feels like you can’t keep ahead of your bills. But, if you’re buying $4 coffees or other little luxuries, you probably can afford to pay a little extra on your loans. It won’t seem to make a difference at first, but as time goes by, you will find that the little bit adds up, and you will soon have a cushion that will make paying off the debt more comfortable and less stressful. Of course, you do have to keep at it– consistently pay a little extra, and consider adding to the amount extra over time. That takes discipline, diligence, and determination. But if you set your mind to it, you will find that it really pays off in the long run. Just my one little pearl of advice to anyone who reads this.

Well, it’s time to practice guitar… got to do my Thursday vacuuming, too. It’s another hot day, and our poor backyard is just parched. I am praying for some rain.

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