“I’m getting in the plane… let the daredevils get ON!”

I had a silly thought as I was walking Arran today. Arran, by the way, is feeling pretty good this morning. He actually came to me while I was practicing guitar and asked for a walk. No, it wasn’t because my guitar playing still sucks… I was working on “Mary Had a Little Lamb” today. Yes, I need more practice, but it was actually recognizable, even if it’s not quite in the key Stevie Ray Vaughan did it.

Anyway, when I walk Arran, I typically clear my head. Sometimes I have thoughts that are serious. Sometimes, my thoughts are decidedly silly. Today, was a silly day. I was thinking about an old George Carlin routine in which he tackles idiosyncrasies of the English language. He was talking about people saying things like “I’m getting ON the plane.”

We all know what it means to get ON the plane. But George, who was so clever when it came to language, said, “Fuck you! I’m getting IN the plane. Let the daredevils get ON!”

Not quite the same routine, but he mentions getting “ON” the plane, rather than “IN”.

Yes… a silly thought indeed. I’m not sure why it crept into my head as I was enjoying the cooler temperatures that always seem to appear in Germany at this time of year, as if by magic. In fact, I remember thirteen years ago, Bill and I lived in Virginia and were preparing to move to Germany the first time. One of my friends, an experienced fellow Army wife, said to me, “Better be sure you bring a jacket.” Sure enough, she was right. I wasn’t in Germany a week that first time before I was buying the jacket I neglected to have available.

My friend, whose husband is now a general, has never lived in Germany. I think, thanks to what her husband does, she’s spent most of his career in Virginia. But she’s known enough people who have moved to Germany to know that September in Germany is NOT like September in Virginia. Even if it’s blazing hot in August in Germany, somehow September always seems to usher in refreshing temperatures, glorious late summer days, and some rain. We had a lot of rain yesterday, and Arran still seemed a little “off”, so we stayed in and I watched old episodes of The Brady Bunch. Watching that show always seems to comfort me, somehow.

I happened to catch an episode called “The Private Ear”. In the opening scene, the character Jan Brady, played by Eve Plumb, is in her bedroom, wearing a very short dress. As she does a scene with sister Marcia (Maureen McCormick), she sits on the bed, almost hiking up that super short dress more than it already was. For the first time ever, even though I’ve seen that show repeatedly since about 1978, I noticed that I could plainly see Eve Plumb’s underwear.

Jeez… everybody was always so dressed up on The Brady Bunch. They dressed up for EVERYTHING. Nowadays, I mostly wear my nightgown when I’m not walking the dog or otherwise out in public. Anyway, I see London, I see France, Jan…

I think maybe Arran was picking up on our sadness yesterday, as we were missing Zane. He probably also picked up on the anxiety that comes from realizing that Arran is also mortal and we will someday lose him, too. Today, he’s acting like his old self.

One thing I did notice today on my walk is that I was thinking of music and silly things. I was actually in a pretty good mood. I think it helped that today’s guitar session was relatively productive. I still suck at guitar, but I suck a lot less than I did a couple of months ago. I’m beginning to think I’ll eventually get the hang of playing and maybe even sound good someday.

And I also had a good singing day yesterday… I may have another one today, since Bill went in to work. He’ll work from home tomorrow, since Arran is going to go to the vet to get some shots and have his back checked out. He seems perfectly normal today, but we want to make sure no trouble is brewing. Besides, he’s due for a checkup…

Speaking of checkups, I’m due for one, too. I definitely could use a medical checkup, since I haven’t seen a doctor since 2010. But I need a dental cleaning, too. It’s been too long. Maybe we should find a Wiesbaden dentist. COVID-19 has made travel so much more complicated. It’s not so easy to pop down to Stuttgart to see our dentist there.

This post is really about a lot of nothing. Sorry about that. I’m still working on reading my latest book and hope to finish it soon, so I can at least post a fresh book review instead of a repost. But at least I’m in a pretty good mood for once. I gotta grab for the stars when I can, right?

I’m really not always cranky. It just seems that way most of the time.

LDS, religion, videos

Hosanna SHOUT!

I just learned what the “hosanna shout” is. Yes, it’s a Mormon thing. After I shared the silly sister mishie videos with my favorite ex Mormons, I rediscovered a thread on the Recovery from Mormonism board entitled “Underpants”. Someone posted that they did the “hosanna shout” with their underpants. I was intrigued, but then the thread got buried by new content and I forgot about it. I didn’t know what a hosanna shout was until this morning, when Bill shared with me an official LDS church video about it.

Wow… as a neverMo, I don’t know anything about what makes this so “sacred”. To me, it just looks silly… and when I think about someone doing it with their “underpants”, it makes me laugh even harder.

Here is another uplifting demonstration of the hosanna shout… I’m not sure it makes me feel spirited to watch it, but at least this guy has a little more spunk as he explains how it’s done.

Do they feel better after having done this en masse?

Now, if someone did this with a pair of underwear, it would probably be a lot more interesting. But it would also depend on the underwear used. Are we talking tighty whities? Bikini briefs? Temple garments, which I have seen, since Bill was still LDS when we were first married. They look kind of like long underwear, only there are markings in the top and on the right knee of the bottoms. The ones Bill wore were in Army olive drab, but they’re usually white. If people did the hosanna shout with temple garments, there would be more of a display for everyone to enjoy.

This topic comes up in the wake of yesterday’s silly sister missionary rap videos. There was the one I linked to yesterday (and the link no longer works, but the videos are still public on Facebook), and another that was shared as I was going to bed. I assume the young women who made the rapping videos are feeling pent up, bored, and need to blow off steam. I’m all for that, and in fact, I have nothing against being silly or even sharing the silliness with the world. I’ll even give them props for being creative with their rhyming and dance moves, as well as outwardly admitting that their raps are pretty corny.

But if you’re going to do that and post it publicly, you should probably expect that some people are going to react accordingly. The hosanna shout is probably sacred to church members, but to those of us who haven’t been let in on the secret of why it’s so special, it looks pretty ridiculous. And so do some of the other entertainment efforts put out by the church.

At least it’s catchy.

For example, this video above that surfaced a few years ago probably required a lot of work… but it’s still pretty cringeworthy. And the one below… another reworked parody about how being “virtuous” is so beautiful kind of makes those of us who aren’t in that culture blush at the message. A lot of my more liberal friends would probably have big issues with this message, which seems to be that “modest is hottest”. Some people are offended by that message, because it can be akin to “slut shaming”.

Oh lordy… Not sure about this. But each to his or her own, I guess.

Mormons seem to be very good with using whatever’s trendy to spread their world views to the masses. I’ve seen a lot of people taking popular songs and turning them into faith promoting messages. Sometimes they’re really well done, because there are a lot of very talented folks in the church. Sometimes, they make you want to crawl away in a hole and have a good laugh. The video below is kind of funny, although I’m not sure I’d want to make a video affiliating Trump with the church. Trump would make a pretty horrible representative for the church, given his admitted love for “locker room talk” and grabbing women by the pussy. But Trump is a reality TV star and, unfortunately, has been in the White House since 2017. So it makes sense that he’d be used in a video about being a missionary…

Perish the thought!

Below is an anti-masturbation video put out by Brigham Young University-Idaho some years ago. I saw it when it was widely released on YouTube and people were supposed to take it seriously. However, for those of us who don’t think masturbation is akin to waging war, this video is ridiculous and kind of creepy… and cringeworthy in a variety of ways. Some people think it’s hilarious. Some think it’s infuriating and damaging. But it didn’t go over well and was laughable to enough people that the church took it down.

Wow… I didn’t realize that self pleasuring could lead to drama akin to war… I got a kick out of some of the comments on YouTube about this– “Saving Ryan’s Privates” and “Full Metal Jack-it” indeed.

It’s hard to take this video seriously, even though it’s technically well produced. I get that the Mormons don’t like it when members engage in the “selfish” practice of autoeroticism. Personally, I’ve got no problem with masturbation. It’s very safe sex and completely normal. But even if I did agree with the LDS stance on jerking off, I would not equate it to being at war. That goes way too far, and makes it easy to mock the belief. I also understand, though, that this video is also about avoiding pornography, which some people have a legitimate problem with. Most people don’t, though.

Anyway… all of this stuff is entertaining to nevermos like me. I know that many church members take it seriously. I’m sorry to mock them, even though I do think a lot of this stuff is highly “mockable”. They wonder why many people don’t have a lot of respect for the church and aren’t interested in joining? It’s because in addition to giving up some of life’s pleasures, like coffee, tea, booze, tobacco, and masturbation, one might also be called to be involved in a corny video promoting the church. And some people are simply too cool for that. As cool as I’m not, I consider myself in that group of people.