Tag Archives: unkind people

condescending twatbags, silliness, social media

A little April Fool’s Facebook fuckery… you know what they say about what happens when you “ASS-ume”…

I’m writing another fresh post because I want to preserve this memory. I think it’s quite funny, actually. I hope it might inspire whoever reads this to stop and think before they respond to strangers with negativity.

I just read a news story in the Washington Post about how Singapore just lifted an outdoor mask mandate that has been going on since April 2020. That’s right. In Singapore, until last week, one could be fined or jailed for not wearing a face mask outdoors. Naturally, they still have to wear masks indoors, but the powers that be finally relented on outdoor mask usage.

In the story, there was an anecdote about a young man who went outside barefaced. He was exhilarated! This was what he’d been waiting two whole years to do! But he looked around, and almost everyone was still wearing a mask. It seems that people in Singapore are devoted to covering their faces, no matter what.

I’m kind of bored today, and feeling my oats. I also had a feeling this story would bring out the virtue signalers; so I decided to post a test comment. I simply wrote “Ridiculous.” I didn’t elaborate. I didn’t specify what I thought was ridiculous. I mentioned nothing about communism, brainwashing, sheep, or anything of that nature. I just wrote the word “Ridiculous.”

Sure enough, within a few minutes, a woman named Mary left me a nasty comment. She basically wrote that I’m the ridiculous one. Instead of lashing back at her, I asked how she managed to come up with such a personal comment about someone she doesn’t know.

She responded with another insult, writing something along the lines of how I don’t know anything about Singapore. On that point, she’s mostly right. I do know a few things about Singapore, but I’ve never visited there, or anything. Claiming that I know nothing at all isn’t accurate, though. So I asked her how she knows that I don’t know anything about Singapore. She came back and wrote that my comment was “uneducated”. Oh, and more than once, she accused me of being “triggered”. Intriguing… especially since I wasn’t the one who was hurling insults at strangers. Hmmm…

I wrote that I thought her comment was interesting, and asked her to imagine the assumptions I could make about her, based on her very negative, insulting comments to a perfect stranger. Not catching on to my little game, she came back with more insults and blind assumptions, to which I observed “You’re making assumptions again. All I wrote was ‘ridiculous’, and here you are, telling me off for writing that, making all kinds of sweeping judgments about my character. These last two years must have been very hard for you to respond with so much negativity.”

There was one more insulting comment, to which I pointed out that once again, she was making very personal, negative, insulting comments toward a perfect stranger, which made me assume that she’s unkind. I ended by writing something along the lines of, “I’m sorry you’re having such a bad day. I hope it gets better.” And I ended it with a smiley.

Mary left one more really snide comment about “whatever helps me sleep at night.” Then, she blocked me. Wow! Is this how she deals with people she knows offline? Her decision to block me struck me as very funny, so I posted “Was it something I said?”

In all seriousness, I DO think it’s ridiculous to be expected to wear a face mask outdoors, unless one is in a crowd of people who are mostly unvaccinated. I understand that face masks are common in Asia and many people wear them when they’re sick. It’s been that way for awhile. But I also do think that it’s “ridiculous” when a young Singaporean man is enthralled with the idea of legally being allowed to be bare faced, only to face extreme peer pressure to conform to the group, even when the authorities have relented. That is genuinely astonishing to me. But that’s just my opinion. Am I not allowed to share my opinion?

Now, that doesn’t mean I think Singapore as a whole is “ridiculous”. I never made a single derogatory comment specifically calling Singaporeans out as a people, as “Mary”, my mean spirited correspondent claims. I just think it’s crazy that someone goes outside without a mask and feels compelled to cover up because everyone else is covered up, even though the mandate for masking outdoors has been lifted. And, in my view, it’s even more ridiculous that so many people in the West are holding up Asian cultures as superior. I mean, in some ways, they probably are superior, but they have their issues, too. I think group think is one big negative issue in Asian cultures.

I just thought it would be interesting to see what kinds of comments I would get from random people in the comment section. I notice that no one else has chimed in, although one guy went through and liked all of my comments. I think maybe that’s the best way to respond to people… try to keep things matter of fact or even exceedingly polite and kind. Wish them well, while also discouraging them from being mean and nasty, and making erroneous assumptions about people whom they don’t know.

Maybe it wasn’t very “nice” to play games with Mary. I did give a thought to ignoring her. But I really did want to see how long it would take before my empathic comments pissed her off. I mean, she acted like I insulted her, but she called me “uneducated” and implied that I’m a bad person, all because my response to an article was the word “ridiculous”, instead of heaps of praise for the relentlessly masked citizens of Singapore. As it turned out, Mary didn’t have much patience with my assertive comments about her apparent tendency to make assumptions about strangers. I think Mary needs to take a deep breath. She might be surprised if she took the time to get to know me. I’m really not so bad.

I think that as someone who appears to want to be seen as “empathetic”, “cooperative”, and “with the program”, Mary is failing. How is her treatment of me different than any other form of discrimination? Especially since all she had to go on was my profile picture and a single word, with no vocal tone or body language to clarify my meaning. Does she routinely go around making hasty judgments about others? And is this the virtue signaling she wants to engage in?

Before Mary blocked me, I noticed she had pro-Ukraine profile and cover pics. I wonder if she’s ever served in the Peace Corps, as I did, in the former Soviet Union? I wonder if she’s ever gone weeks without electricity or running water, as I have? I wonder if she has master’s degrees in public health and social work, as I do? I mean, those are not fields that typically attract the self-absorbed. I wonder if she’s rescued as many dogs as I have? Surely that’s what “triggered, uneducated, ridiculous, people” like me do, right? Nah… she must be right. I’m just a right shithead. 😀 I shouldn’t share my opinions where people might read them.

Anyway, as Beau on YouTube says, “It’s just a thought.” I truly do hope Mary has a good day and her mood improves. Too bad we couldn’t end our conversation as friends. And I’d sincerely like to thank her for playing. 😉

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family, mental health, silliness

Poophoria… and phooey on the mean among us.

I’m experiencing it right now. Basically, it’s how you feel so much better after you’ve taken an especially large, messy, and uncomfortable dump. You get a rush of endorphins that makes you feel pretty good and a little bit “high” for a short while…

I first saw this term coined in a book I read called What’s Your Poo Telling You? I read it the first time we lived in Germany. In those days, I wrote a lot of book reviews for a site called Epinions.com, and I went through a shit phase. I read and reviews many books about shit… as well as all of the other substances that come from body functions. I left What’s Your Poo Telling You? in storage. It was a clever little book, though, along with its follow up, What’s My Pee Telling Me? Both books were co-written by a doctor named Anish Sheth, who explained all of the interesting phenomenons that happen as your body makes waste.

I own all three of these books, as well as a few others! Too bad I didn’t bring them with me to Germany.

Anyway… the poophoria feeling was fun, but it’s now passed. I wish everything passed so quickly and easily.

I’m now sitting here thinking about a story I read last night about a large family gathering in Texas. The family group of fifteen is close-knit and, before all of this COVID-19 shit started, used to get together a lot for fajitas and birthday cake. On November 1, they had an impromptu birthday gathering. They meant to do it outside, but I guess the familiarity of being together again lulled them into a false sense of security. Before they knew it, they were all inside, sitting on the couch maskless. And, you guessed it, they all tested positive for COVID-19. Every single last one of them. Their 57 year old mother ended up in the hospital.

This family thought they’d be okay because they had been very cautious since the beginning of the pandemic. They tried to stay home, avoiding gatherings with people who weren’t in their households. They didn’t go to churches, bars, or theaters. They cut down on their family visits and held them outside. And they worked from home as much as possible. Still, in an unguarded moment, they relaxed their vigilance and got together. Unfortunately, someone in the group had the virus and passed it on.

So the family decided to make a video about their experiences with COVID-19. They did so in an attempt to spare other people their experiences with the virus by confirming that it’s real. In doing so, they put themselves out there for public derision and rude comments from the masses. Sure enough, that’s what they got.

A screenshot of the nice family from Texas who all got COVID.

As I was reading about this family, I just felt badly for them. I wish them a speedy and full recovery. But apparently, I was in the minority, because I read a lot of really nasty comments from people. Many people were sarcastic, and quite a few others wrote that they’re “sick” of stories like this one. More than a few wrote, “They didn’t listen when others have shared their stories, why would they think anyone would listen to them?” The overall sentiment was one of “no sympathy” whatsoever, and “I told you so.”

A small sampling of the comments on the Washington Post.

I do feel sorry for this family. They’re a loving group of people who just want to be together– with their loved ones. And, like every other human being on the planet, they’re fallible. They thought they’d get away with a get-together. A year ago, a gathering for birthday cake and fajitas would have been perfectly fine. I don’t see the need to judge them for getting sick. Everybody gets sick eventually. It’s not their fault there’s a deadly virus and, though they should have been more careful, they’re only human. I commend them for trying to help by sharing their story, and I hope they get well soon.

Although I’ve not been a big fan of face masks, and I still fervently hope we can eventually ditch them, I have always taken the virus seriously. That’s why I’ve done my best to avoid people. I don’t remember the last time I went to downtown Wiesbaden. It’s been many months. I haven’t been in the car since October 4th, which was when we brought Noyzi home. I haven’t left the neighborhood at all since then, and it sucks. Fortunately, the virus is not as out of control in Europe as it is in the United States. I suspect that most people will eventually be exposed to it, although hopefully the upcoming vaccines will make the inevitable exposure less dangerous.

I wish people would be kinder. We’re all tired of this shit. We can’t stay locked down forever… much of what makes life worth living is being denied by the presence of the virus. I read another sad story last night about a young man who killed himself because he couldn’t take the isolation caused by the pandemic. His father knew his son struggled with depression and did what he could to help him. But his son’s therapist had to shut down her practice, and he could no longer hang out with his friends, who, in the past, had helped him through his depressive episodes. So, despite his father’s efforts to keep his son’s demons at bay, the boy purchased a weapon and killed himself. Which brings to mind another question… why in the HELL are gun stores considered “essential” businesses right now?

In the same story, a different bereaved father went to his son’s grave after the sixteen year old committed suicide. He encountered a couple of the boy’s classmates– two girls– one of whom was sobbing. And one of them said that she also thought of suicide a lot. She’d tried to get help by calling a hotline, but the local psychiatric hospital only had sixteen beds and they were all full. She said that almost everyone she knew had considered suicide.

Frankly, having suffered from depression and suicidal ideation myself, I understand how these girls feel. I would not want to be young right now. The future must look very grim to today’s adolescents, who have grown up in an era during which they can’t even enjoy feeling safe at school, thanks to all the school shooters. Now there’s a pandemic, which makes going to school even more dangerous. They’ve lost support from their friends and the ability to have carefree fun. A lot of them have seen their parents lose their jobs and their homes. Some of them feel like a burden and that the future is hopeless. It kind of makes one wonder what the purpose of living is.

From the beginning of this pandemic, I’ve been afraid for people’s mental health. Most people are meant to socialize. They crave human touch and conversation. They love live music and drama. They like to share things like meals and celebrations. The virus has made a lot of what makes life worthwhile forbidden. I don’t begrudge people who are looking for relief. They’re only human, as we all are. And the smug, self-righteous, unempathetic twits out there who think people “deserve” to get sick and judge them for it are headed for a fall. Karma has a way of dealing with those types.

So… while I can be cranky sometimes and vent a bit in my blogs, I also try to have empathy. This is a crisis that has touched every single one of us. People are just trying to get by.

And… when I get a touch of Poophoria after a glorious dump, I feel even more appreciative of the euphoric rush than I did a year ago, when I could sit in a restaurant and enjoy the company of others without having to worry about a deadly virus making me sick. You gotta take your thrills where you can find them.

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