This is another repost concerning Lori Alexander, aka “The Transformed Wife”. This was composed on my original blog on July 21, 2018. I am sharing it again because it includes discussion about one of Lori’s most notoriously controversial ideas… that men don’t like women with tattoos or student loans and prefer their wives to be virgins.
I have to write another quick post to opine about a situation that has developed in blogger land. Though the Life is Not All Pickles and Hairspray group, I’ve become aware of several very successful “Christian” bloggers. One blogger that gets mentioned a lot is Lori Alexander, author of “The Transformed Wife“. I don’t really read a lot of Lori’s stuff because it’s usually poorly written and stupid, even though she’s published a book that evidently a lot of people have read. She does have a Facebook page, too, and sometimes I see stuff from it posted in the Duggar group, mainly for people to snark on. Somehow, despite writing poorly and centering all of her posts, she has thousands of followers. Maybe I should start writing badly and include a lot of religion in my posts, too. On the other hand, that’s a bad idea. Sometimes it’s better to be anonymous.
Anyway, Lori recently wrote an extremely moronic post about how “Godly” men prefer debt free virgins without tattoos. It went viral for all the wrong reasons. I originally saw it in the Duggar group, but pretty soon, it was picked up by people like God and a bunch of bloggers wrote thoughtful rebuttals, like this one. In the wake of this mess, there was another blogger who got caught in the crossfire. Not just another blogger, mind you… this one, name of Rachel, is Transformed Wife.
Apparently, Rachel was Transformed Wife before Lori was The Transformed Wife (note the addition of “The” before Transformed Wife– I guess Lori thinks that makes her name different enough from Rachel’s). Rachel writes in a recent post that Lori had sent her an email to tell her she was changing the original name of her blog to the one Rachel had already claimed. And because both women are popular bloggers, there has been some confusion about the controversial blog post that upset many thousands of people. Rachel claims that it’s gotten so bad that she had to make a public statement telling everyone that she and Lori are not the same person and they have different beliefs.
To make matters more confusing, someone else is running a snark page called The Transformed Wife 2.0. I joined that one myself and it’s where I first learned of this controversy between two similarly named bloggers.
Neither of the Transformed Wives are women that I would listen to. I actually don’t really like the whole “life coach”-“guru” trend that has emerged. I think it takes a whole lot of moxie to assume one is qualified to be someone’s life coach. To be honest, I think most people who feel they should work as life coaches are probably narcissistic assholes. I mean, some people really are wise, but in general, I don’t think it’s wise to assume that dispensing your wisdom should be your career. It’s bound to backfire.
But then… here I am writing “The Overeducated Housewife”, and God knows people have gotten a bad impression about the name of my blog. I’m not the only Overeducated Housewife out there in blog land, nor was I the first. However, I do seem to be the most prolific.
In any case, the war of the Transformed Wives has drawn out other people eager to leap into the fray. On The Transformed Wife 2.0, I learned of yet another “wise” blogger called The Joy Filled Wife… who is apparently Lori Alexander in a previous incarnation. And yet, The Joy Filled Wife left Lori a note of encouragement because of the backlash she’s gotten over her idiotic commentary about what kind of women men prefer. I guess Lori split her personality so she could sock puppet an encouraging post. Or maybe there really is a Joy Filled Wife out there who is Lori’s friend. I don’t know. I am so confused!
I myself have no tattoos. In about ten days, I will also have no debt, although I was up to my ass in it on my wedding day. I was a virgin when I got married, but it wasn’t because of God. It was more because that’s how it worked out. Bill likes me fine. He probably would have liked me if I had tattoos, too… or if I’d been with other men. You see, Bill loves me for who I am, not for what I look like. We have worked together to have the best life possible. And while Bill isn’t a churchgoer, I would say he’s “Godly” in the best possible ways.
I don’t know why so many people– particularly conservative Christians– feel the need to follow self-appointed gurus like Lori and Rachel. In my experience, a lot of these “leaders” end up being very narcissistic and fallible. Many of them eventually have embarrassing falls from grace that expose them for who and what they really are. Unfortunately, people don’t seem to learn from experience that folks like the Duggars and the Osteens and others like them usually turn out to be very charismatic charlatans who do a lot of damage, particularly to people who are honestly hurting and need help.
Not being a fundie Christian myself, I don’t feel like I have any skin in this particular game. It’s kind of amusing and disturbing to watch it unfold, though. I hope the people who read my blog don’t think of me as a “guru” of any sort. And the idea of my becoming a life coach is equally absurd. It ain’t happening.