For the backstory to this original song, have a look the previous post. I’ll be so glad when mosquito season is over. I literally wrote the words and music in a matter of a couple of hours, so please don’t hate.
I look forward to healing…
Every year around this time I start each day itchin’ where the sun don’t shine Because the Hessian late summer Is quite literally a bummer Thanks to the goddamned mosquitoes in Germany
Now don’t get me wrong; I still love it here In spite of my constantly itchy rear Every August and part of September They feast at night and leave something to remember From those goddamned mosquitoes in Germany
I wake up with red welts that weep and itch That make me scratch and frequently bitch Don’t know what I’d do if I didn’t have my man Around to scratch places where I physically can’t With scars left by those goddamned mosquitoes in Germany
This time of year, I sure get annoyed But at least I ain’t got any hemorrhoids Maybe that’s something in the future near If I were to give up drinking German beer Then those goddamned German mosquitoes might leave me be…
Now those itchy ass bites make me cuss and blush Because too many of them are on my goddamned tush When I’m out and about and trying to have some class It’s so hard to be sneaky about scratching my ass Thanks to those goddamned mosquitoes in Germany
Oh lord, please hear my sober lament Please deliver me from this yearly torment Send some cold weather to seal the deal And give my poor skin a fighting chance to finally heal From the scabs made by those goddamned mosquitoes in Germany
I’m serious, y’all… some of ’em are bleedin’ steady And I’m so fucking weary of the sting and stench of After Bite remedy So please hear my prayers and bring on the Fall And stop the nightly mosquito maul Curse those goddamned mosquitoes in Germany
Welcome to Friday, blog fans… The AI pic is definitely inspired today!
Today is the 25th anniversary of a very dark day in history, especially if you’re an American. Since I made a video about that day on Wednesday, and I’ve already written about my 9/11 experiences so many times, I think I will focus my attention on more immediately irritating matters.
Yes… I know I could write about Trump’s ridiculous fiduciary “promises” to Americans, if we will just vote for Republicans. I probably will write more about that at some point soon, although I did sort of cover it in yesterday’s parody song.
First off– $5,000 is not enough money. A lot of people are financially strapped right now, and it’s tempting to believe that Trump will send them cash for voting Republican, but even if he did that– AND HE WON’T– it’s simply not enough money. It won’t last long enough to soothe the sting of more Trump policies, which are hurting Americans and our allies. And then we’ll be stuck with Trump’s shit for decades. 🤬
And secondly, it’s probably illegal to do what he proposes (not that he cares about that). He’s also a liar, and has made these promises before… and people are still waiting for him to make good on them. Ask yourself this… if Trump’s policies were so good for the country, and he is so popular and “great” 🙄, why would he have to bribe voters with promises of money?
But… I suspect most of my readers are smart enough to know these things, anyway… So I won’t “HARP” (see what I did there), on that anymore. Nor will I go off about the sneaky and potentially disastrous plan to get women (because even though they say “parents”, they mean women) to stay home and raise kids for an extra $9,000 a year. Again, it’s NOT ENOUGH MONEY. And it’s potentially disastrous for a lot of women, who would then be stuck… kind of like I am. Although my husband is a lovely man who doesn’t abuse or exploit me, I’m smart enough to know that I’m not exactly attractive to employers… And I don’t even have kids to show for it, although fortunately, Bill doesn’t mind me socking away some money for leaner days. I hope today’s young women are smart enough not to fall for this scheme– straight out of Project 2025– either.
Okay… ranting time is over. I’ll probably continue the ranting tomorrow. Now for the song, because I am inspired…
A few days ago, my old “acquaintance/Facebook friend/fellow smartass, Ken Turetzky, happened to watch a video I made of myself a few months ago. I had decided to cover his song, “Her Shit Don’t Stink”, which I discovered sometime in 2008.
Ken’s song was on a Red Peters’ compilation album of funny, irreverent, and often pretty gross songs. If you know me, you know that kind of stuff is right up my alley. Anyway, “Her Shit Don’t Stink” cracked me up, because it’s about a narcissistic woman who thinks her shit doesn’t stink. At the time, it reminded me of Bill’s ex wife. In those days, I cared a lot more about her antics than I do today. 🙄🤷♀️
Anyway, I reviewed Red’s album on Epinions.com. Ken read what I wrote about “Her Shit Don’t Stink”, and started an email correspondence with me. Later, we became Facebook friends, although we don’t interact that much.
A few months ago, I got bored, and decided to try to cover Ken’s song on YouTube. It’s not a hard song to play or sing, but trying to do both at once is a legitimate challenge for me. So, after a brief spoken intro, I played and sang “Her Shit Don’t Stink”. Below is my version, but I would highly recommend listening to Ken’s vastly superior rendition of his original song. It’s a song that is, perhaps, better suited for men…
Thankfully, the pervert has since moved on.
Here’s Ken’s version…
“She thinks her excrement has no odor…” 🤣
Ken shared my video on Facebook, and netted me a few more precious views. I started thinking about how I’d like to try his other hit, “My Fat Ass Itches”.
I sympathize. Mine does too.
So I started trying to learn this song, but realized that not only do I not play guitar nearly as well as Ken does, but on the recording (not the above video), he has another singer and a harmonica. I don’t have either of those at my disposal… although I can definitely do my own backup vocals.
Furthermore, my fat ass does itch, but not because of hemorrhoids. It’s because I have to sleep with the window open until fall arrives, and the mosquitoes think I’m their personal buffet. I have so many bites on me, it looks like I have chicken pox.
So, I thought today, instead of trying to sing Ken’s song, I might allow him to inspire me to write my own song… or my own lyrics, anyway. I’m a gonna give it a whirl… since I don’t have anything else to do today, anyway. 🙄
I think I’ll put the lyrics on a fresh post, so my thoughts aren’t tainted by this one. Stay tuned. We’ll see if my fat ass produces more than just a lot of shit. 💩
When I heard about Trump’s latest desperate ploys and scams to stay in power after the midterms, I decided it called for a song. So here’s my reworked version of Cliff Richard’s 1963 song, “It’s All In the Game”. Original music and lyrics by Carl Sigman and Charles Dawes.
Don’t fall for this shit again.
Many a farm’s gonna fall It’s all part of his scam All of his dishonest scams That he swears are legit
Gullible folks trusted him Now our future is looking quite grim But he doesn’t care… cuz’ they fell for his bullshit.
Facing the midterms this Fall And his polls are in flames So many crimes he must hide As he bribes and defames
He hopes we’ll all kiss his ass And ignore the deepening morass So his third impeachment can still get a stay
Like Lucy holds the football It’s all part of his game All he can do is spread lies Issue threats and cast blame
He expects we’ll all be fooled His worst nightmare is to be overruled Desperation is now on full display But take heart:those cankles give his poor health away Myocardial infarct could finally make him pay!
A couple of days ago, I made my latest song parody. It was meant to be kind of lighthearted, but in the lyrics, I ended up mentioning 9/11, which gave the song a more serious bent.
Someone in my comment section mentioned that they didn’t know Bill is a 9/11 survivor, and it dawned on me that I had never made a video about 9/11. Since the 25th anniversary of that day is on Friday, today I decided to make a video explaining how my life changed that day. I know Bill’s life changed, too.
It’s a bit longer than my usual videos, and I doubt people will watch it… but I feel like it’s important to document these things. I also want to remember when Americans– and, in fact, the world– were more united for better things.
I can’t believe 25 years have passed. Time has really flown. It could have turned out so much differently for both of us.
I may be back later with something else… or maybe not. I may take a nap, instead.
A rather flattering AI version of me today… I’m actually fatter and not wearing makeup. Maybe I should have added Noyzi and Charlie.
Bill went to Budapest yesterday. I will be home alone until next Wednesday. That means I’m back to the temporary single life again.
I was looking at my old Facebook posts and remembered that a year ago, Bill went to Budapest for a conference and I went with him. Budapest is a great city, so I mostly had a good time. This year, I didn’t go with Bill because it’s not that much fun entertaining myself while Bill works, while dodging the hotel housekeepers. 🤭
This year, Bill is staying in a hotel in a different area, which isn’t as close to the tourist friendly district, although it does look like the hotel he’s staying in is slightly nicer than last year’s. I probably would have chosen to go with him on this trip if he wasn’t going to be gone for so long. There is a lot to do in Budapest, and it really is a wonderful town, especially for music lovers. But it’s also hot in Budapest at this time of year, and I was just there a year ago… the memories are still pretty fresh.
I would definitely go to Budapest on a non-work trip. I hope we’ll get the chance to do that, or go somewhere else in Hungary, especially since they elected a new president.
Since Bill is away, it gives me the opportunity to “dry out” a bit. I usually eat and drink less when he’s not around, and I tend to make more music videos. I’m not sure why I keep making videos, since not that many people watch them. But honestly, I love making music, and I enjoy the process of making videos with gifs and headlines. I also learn about the songs I cover. I started making a parody the other day that I ultimately scrapped, not knowing that the song I was thinking of covering was actually written by John Stewart.
Maybe that name doesn’t mean anything to younger folks, but as a child of the 80s, I well remember this song he sang… It was a hit, and he was backed up by Stevie Nicks singing backing vocals, and Lindsay Buckingham playing guitar.
Wow… I really miss this time of my life, even if I was a kid. It was a better era.
Apparently, John Stewart wasn’t a fan of “Gold”, even though it was a big hit and still much beloved by Gen X-ers. Stewart said the song was “vapid” and meant nothing to him. He’d written it simply to please the record company. Obviously, the executives knew what would sell… and John Stewart made some “gold” on this song, and had some help from people in Fleetwood Mac. But, as an artist, I guess I can understand why he would say it’s a “vapid” number.
But is it really more vapid than this song?
I confess, I’d never heard this version until today. I like it… but is it really more compelling than “Gold”? I’ll have to think about it. This week, I’ll have the time.
Maybe I’ll get around to writing a parody to “Daydream Believer”, too… I’ll probably do Anne Murray’s version, although The Monkees’ version is probably more popular and relatable. Originally, yesterday’s song was going to be about something else, but I scrapped my first go at that parody, too. I’m glad I did, because it worked better with yesterday’s subject matter, which didn’t exist at the time I first tried to parody “Me and You and a Dog Named Boo”.
YouTube can be very demoralizing. I find myself getting fixated on numbers a lot more there than I do on my blog. I probably should remind myself that just because something isn’t popular, that doesn’t mean it’s terrible or even mediocre. It doesn’t mean I don’t have talent. In fact, as I’ve constantly reminded myself, it’s better to have some high quality friends than many fans, and I feel like that’s what I have on YouTube. But I do still have an ego, so it’s kind of painful when my subscriber count drops with every new upload. Sigh… I’m just glad I don’t depend on it for income.
I suppose I could be writing about the many distressing issues happening today, but I’m not really in the mood. I need to change my guitar strings, which is always a pain in the ass. I also need to practice. A few days ago, my casual acquaintance, singer-songwriter-comedian Ken Turetzky, found my cover of his awesome song, “Her Shit Don’t Stink”, and commented on it. I was inspired to try his other big hit, “My Fat Ass Itches”. So I’m going to practice that today, and see if it’s feasible to learn it. Then, maybe if I still have the energy, I’ll put new strings on my guitar.
Since I’ve been getting eaten up by mosquitoes, lately, I think “My Fat Ass Itches” is a good project for me right now. It’s always good to have goals and make lemons into lemonade, if you know what I mean. Of course, people hate my guitar videos, too… Sigh…
I see that Ken’s song is such a big hit that I’m the first one to Chordify it. The good news is, it doesn’t look like the chords are super hard. So we’ll see what happens! At least I’m avoiding the “idiots”, right?
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