Yesterday afternoon, I was sitting at the table listening to music and drinking wine when I got a notification from a long lost ex relative. It was a woman who was once married to one of my cousins. There was a time when I liked her well enough, although she kind of struck me as a bit of an attention seeker. She could relate to me about depression and anxiety, though, and I remember having a lot of talks with her at Thanksgiving gatherings. Then she and my cousin divorced.
I will admit that her complaints about my cousin weren’t unwarranted. When they were married, my cousin drank too much, and that got him into legal and personal trouble. He’s chauvinistic about a lot of things, and if he’s anything like his father or my father, he’s probably quite abusive when he’s angry. He’s also turned into a very rigid thinker, especially about conservative values. He has quit drinking– at least as far as I know– but now he’s found Jesus and has turned into a total wingnut. It’s like he’s traded booze for conservative politics and Christianity, and that makes hanging around him about as pleasant as getting a pelvic exam.
When my cousin was young, he was a lot of fun. He still has his moments of levity. I used to love hanging out with him when we were kids. He had a wonderful sense of adventure, and like a lot of the men on my dad’s side of the family, he’s very much an adrenaline junkie. He was definitely never boring. But now he collects firearms and isn’t always the smartest and safest about how he handles them. He argues politics with people who don’t want to argue about politics. And he’s still very much a chauvinist and treats women like they need special help. There’s a difference between being a gentleman to a lady, and treating women like they need special protection because they don’t have a penis. My cousin’s treatment of women is borderline insulting. He’s sexist, condescending, and rude, whether or not he means to be. In his defense, he comes by that behavior honestly, because two of his three brothers and his father are the same way. His other brother is gay.
Since divorcing my cousin in 2007 or so, his ex wife has married two more times. I remember she divorced husband #3 when she caught him cheating on her. That was a big drama about it on Facebook. Then she married some other guy and I hadn’t heard from her since yesterday. On two posts about the current events involving the orange menace, my cousin’s ex wife apparently posted “Trump 2020”. These posts happened within the time span of a minute or so. I reacted with an angry emoji the first time. The second time, I quickly unfriended her. I felt badly about it for a minute, but then realized it was long overdue. Especially since I unfriended my cousin– her ex husband– three years ago, for similarly obnoxious behavior.
We weren’t really a good fit anyway. I suddenly remembered how, the day after my wedding, which she’d attended with my cousin, she insulted me by backhandedly accusing me of being a drunk. In fairness, it may be true that I’m a drunk, but at least I haven’t been a serial divorcee– and unlike her ex husband, my consumption of alcohol hasn’t ever led to my being arrested. We all have our imperfections, right? Mine is hereditary, as she can personally attest to, having been married to my cousin and having had his parents for in laws. Many people in my family drink alcohol, and quite a few drink to excess. My cousin’s parents were both heavy drinkers. His mother died ten years ago and his father, my uncle, is still going strong on the sauce. I have been on the receiving end of his drunken screeds on more than one occasion. So if I am a drunk, I come by it honestly. Should I quit drinking? Maybe… but I don’t want to, just like she doesn’t want to wake up and quit worshiping Trump.
I was also reminded of why I unfollowed her on Facebook ages ago. It was mainly because of all of the Biblical memes and other religious and political stuff that kept showing up on my page, interspersed with personal drama. It had been years since we last communicated online, let alone in person.
Just now, I went to her page and found this public post…
At first, I wondered if her fourth husband was behind her mysterious appearance on my page after so many years. But now I think she did it. I wonder what her objective is, besides annoying people or rallying the like minded? Frankly, posting this idea makes me think she’s an idiot, or at best, a follower who doesn’t do much deep thinking. What is this supposed to accomplish? The people who dislike Trump are not going to change their minds because she posts “Trump 2020” on their posts. The people who like Trump will probably just give her a thumbs up. And why does she she feel this is necessary? Is she afraid people are suddenly realizing that Trump is a terrible leader and won’t vote for him? I’ve got news for her. The cat’s been out of the bag for years.
I debated addressing this on my page. I had a feeling it could piss off some people who are already on edge. But then I decided I would write something about it. If people decided to opt out of my Facebook feed because of this statement, so much the better. So I posted this:
I got some comments, all of which were positive. I did clarify what I meant, though. I don’t unfriend people who support Trump as president. I unfriend people who try to turn my page into their platform to rally for his re-election.
This morning, I found that I’d lost one “friend”. I don’t know what finally pushed them over the edge. Was it the above post? Or was it this one below about Lindsey Graham?
It’s hard to tell what finally moves people to get to the “red button” unfriending action. Personally, my patience is getting shorter and shorter with people who openly support an incompetent, sexually abusive, narcissistic bigot like Donald Trump. If someone would rather unfriend me because of my lack of patience for their dogged support of an orange dictator wannabe, so be it. But I still support your right to vote for Trump if you want to vote for him. Just don’t use my page to promote your political bullshit. My page is only meant to be used by me for MY bullshit. You have your own page for your own political bullshit.
Besides, I think the Internet is already “flooded” with thoughts and images about Donald Trump. Posting “Trump 2020” as responses to random Facebook posts just makes you look feeble-minded and desperate. I’m sure Trump will still give Joe Biden a run for his money in November. There are still many people who will vote red no matter what. Not all of those people are stupid. Some are simply ignorant… and some aren’t stupid or ignorant, they simply hate abortion (which I do think is kind of stupid, especially given the terrible state of the world, but I can understand why people are horrified by it). I am heartened to read that some prominent Republicans will NOT be supporting Trump in November, though. It gives me some renewed faith that they are decent people.
I guess my cousin’s ex wife is afraid Trump will lose in November. That’s why she feels the need to “rally” support for the orange asshole by posting “Trump 2020” on random Facebook posts. But I have a feeling she’s going to lose a lot of friends by employing this tactic, which is not cute, clever, or funny… Or maybe she’ll lost just a few “friends” she didn’t care that much about, anyway. Either way, so much the better.